Useless Comic Strips - Page 9

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117 Results for Useless

View 81 - 90 results for useless comic strips. Discover the best "Useless" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation

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Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, inventions, design, complication, overthinking

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Wally: I asked the other engineers to help me develop my double-handed coffee mug invention. Now it is bloated with useless features and not dishwasher safe. Maybe you should cancel the project. Boss: Are you okay with that? Wally: I've never been a big fan of the implementation phase.

Who Can Insult The Boss

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Who Can Insult The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, payoff, reward

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Wally: I heard we can insult our boss now? Dilbert: You can't. Alice and I can get away with it because we are hard to replace. Wally: Realistically, there had to be a downside to being useless.

Wally's Passion

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Wally's Passion  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags passion, drive, ambition, laziness, catch-22

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Wally: I'm only passionate about doing things that are socially unacceptable. Should I follow my passion or should I continue being useless? It is totally up to you. Catbert: Try to find a middle ground. Wally: A mild interest in things that don't matter.

Motivation Is Magical Thinking

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Motivation Is Magical Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, magic, inspiration, futility, futile, honesty, hard truth

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Dogbert: Motivation is a form of magical thinking in which you imagine that your words can turn useless people into high achievers. Boss: But it totally works, right? Dogbert: Yes, because magic is real. Boss: Is it hard to learn? Dogbert: Not if you already know how to lie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, type, introvert, dominant, submissive, interpersonal, relationship, coworkers, conflict, argument, competent, magic, psychology

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Coworker: The reason we keep having conflicts is because of our personality types. You're an impulsive, dominant personality and I am more of a... Alice: Useless waste of space? Coworker: I was going to say I'm a reserved, introspective, people-pleaser. One personality type is not better than the another. We just see things differently. Alice: How do you explain the fact that I have never had a conflict with anyone who is competent. Coworker: Give me a minute to reflect on that. Alice: Let me know when you're done believing in magic.

Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down

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Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, technology, robot, nanobot, motivation

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Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.

Human Contact Through Social Media

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Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loneliness, antisocial, people, introvert, social media, communication, isolation, technology

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Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.

Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity

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Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags useless, laziness, productivity, flaw, strength, health

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Wally: Some people say uselessness is a character flaw. I see it as the natural result of mindful resistance to the tyranny of productivity. Dilbert: Where do you think food comes from? Wally: From my critics. It's a great system.

How It Feels To Be Useless

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How It Feels To Be Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, work ethic, engineers, stress, reward, laziness, dedication

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Wally: How's it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering? Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely. Wally: You probably don't want to know how good it feels to be useless.

Carol Overschedules

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Carol Overschedules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags useless, laziness, work ethic, ignorance, trying, effort, club

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Carol: I understand you better than the others because I'm useless, too. Wally: I always thought you were trying to kill our pointy-haired boss by overscheduling him. Carol: I am. It just hasn't worked yet. Wally: That's not good enough to get into the useless club.