Worlds Longest Joke Comic Strips - Page 9

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106 Results for Worlds Longest Joke

View 81 - 90 results for worlds longest joke comic strips. Discover the best "Worlds Longest Joke" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #costumes, #halloween, #angry cat, #lederhosen, #switched identity, #joke, #boss, #hatred, #holiday

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Dilbert: You both assured me that everyone would be wearing a costume to work today. I spent hours putting together my costume as an angry cat in lederhosen! I hate you both! Wally: Should we tell him? Alice: It's funnier if we don't.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cruelty, #executives, #joking, #self deprecating joke, #tasks, #underling

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CEO: Hello, underling. Watch me do a self-deprecating joke to underscore my true power. Ho ho! I am not good at some types of unimportant tasks! Ha ha! That's why I'm glad I have people like you to do those things. Dilbert: Impressive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #space flight, #elon musk, #space hsips, #electric cars, #electric rocket, #robots, #colonize, #planet, #power cord

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CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #potato, #worlds worst conversationalist, #russet

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Coworker: Did I tell you about the time I saw a potato? Asok: We are being assaulted by the world's worst conversationalist. Coworker: It was a russet! Asok: Help! Help! Help!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #joking, #practical jokes, #sex appeal, #sexiness, #honor, #practical joke, #evil genius, #cleverly, #concealed, #true identity, #sit on rocks

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Dilbert: I was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world! Dogbert: That honor sounds like a practical joke perpetrated by an evil genius who cleverly concealed his true identity. Dilbert: Nah. Dogbert: And I bet he likes to sit on rocks.

World's Greatest Economist

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World's Greatest Economist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coincidence, #deception, #economist, #economy, #money, #random jargon, #art, #science

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Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #jokes, #joking, #assume, #assumptions, #offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

Alice Has Foul Language

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Alice Has Foul Language - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offense, #language, #joke, #jokes, #human resources, #complaint, #business

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Boss: Tina complained that your foul language is creating a hostile work environment. Alice: That's ridiculous. Words are totally harmless. Tell Tina she can... [Ten Seconds Later. The boss is twitching] Okay, I see it now.

List Of Known Problems

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List Of Known Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #insult, #misanthrope, #misanthropy

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Alice: Did you get the link I sent you for our company directory? Boss: I didn't ask for that. I asked for a list of known problem... Oh. Not funny. Alice: Then how do you explain this?

Godwin's Law Is One Jerk

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Godwin's Law Is One Jerk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #troll, #internet, #comment, #jerk, #hitler, #wwii, #nazi, #holocause, #joke, #social media, #etiquette, #netiquette, #technology

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Dick: People think there are millions of jerks on the Internet, but really it's just me. On a typical night I might make over seven thousand Hitler analogies. Dilbert: Maybe you should stop. Dick: That's what Poland said.