Worlds Longest Joke Comic Strips - Page 9

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106 Results for Worlds Longest Joke

View 81 - 90 results for worlds longest joke comic strips. Discover the best "Worlds Longest Joke" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags costumes, halloween, angry cat, lederhosen, switched identity, joke, boss, hatred, holiday

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Dilbert: You both assured me that everyone would be wearing a costume to work today. I spent hours putting together my costume as an angry cat in lederhosen! I hate you both! Wally: Should we tell him? Alice: It's funnier if we don't.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, cruelty, executives, joking, self deprecating joke, tasks, underling

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CEO: Hello, underling. Watch me do a self-deprecating joke to underscore my true power. Ho ho! I am not good at some types of unimportant tasks! Ha ha! That's why I'm glad I have people like you to do those things. Dilbert: Impressive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), inventions, space flight, elon musk, space hsips, electric cars, electric rocket, robots, colonize, planet, power cord

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CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, potato, worlds worst conversationalist, russet

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Coworker: Did I tell you about the time I saw a potato? Asok: We are being assaulted by the world's worst conversationalist. Coworker: It was a russet! Asok: Help! Help! Help!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, joking, practical jokes, sex appeal, sexiness, honor, practical joke, evil genius, cleverly, concealed, true identity, sit on rocks

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Dilbert: I was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world! Dogbert: That honor sounds like a practical joke perpetrated by an evil genius who cleverly concealed his true identity. Dilbert: Nah. Dogbert: And I bet he likes to sit on rocks.

World's Greatest Economist

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World's Greatest Economist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coincidence, deception, economist, economy, money, random jargon, art, science

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Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, jokes, joking, assume, assumptions, offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

Alice Has Foul Language

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Alice Has Foul Language - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags offense, language, joke, jokes, human resources, complaint, business

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Boss: Tina complained that your foul language is creating a hostile work environment. Alice: That's ridiculous. Words are totally harmless. Tell Tina she can... [Ten Seconds Later. The boss is twitching] Okay, I see it now.

List Of Known Problems

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List Of Known Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, insult, misanthrope, misanthropy

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Alice: Did you get the link I sent you for our company directory? Boss: I didn't ask for that. I asked for a list of known problem... Oh. Not funny. Alice: Then how do you explain this?

Godwin's Law Is One Jerk

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Godwin's Law Is One Jerk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags troll, internet, comment, jerk, hitler, wwii, nazi, holocause, joke, social media, etiquette, netiquette, technology

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Dick: People think there are millions of jerks on the Internet, but really it's just me. On a typical night I might make over seven thousand Hitler analogies. Dilbert: Maybe you should stop. Dick: That's what Poland said.