20 Pixel Camera Comic Strips - Page 9

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101 Results for 20 Pixel Camera

View 81 - 90 results for 20 pixel camera comic strips. Discover the best "20 Pixel Camera" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #kill the messenger, #finance, #20% cut, #budget cuts, #success vector, #money

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An employee from the finance department stands beside an overhead projector, giving a presentation to Dilbert and Alice. The man says, "Here's your latest budget cuts. But please don't kill the messenger from finance, ha ha!!" The man continues, "I recommended a 20% cut. A quick glance around the room tells me you're not on the success vector anyhoo, so nothing lost." The finance employee hangs out the window, tied up in the overhead projector's power cord. He says, "Tough room."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business case, #various mangers, #being misplaced, #kill for personal gain, #buried, #not cremeated, #lasting impression, #earth, #mail corpse

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Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "Today I distributed 36 copies of my business case to various managers for approval." Dilbert sits on the armrest of the couch and continues, "By my count, 20 are being misplaced, 6 managers will try to kill it for personal gain and 10 will come back with irrelevant questions." Dilbert says, "When I die I want to be buried, not cremated, so I can at least make ONE lasting impression on the earth." Dogbert says, "I was planning to mail your corpse to somebody I don't like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stick to script, #act sincere, #forgive you, #worng, #sell key boards, #morons, #dumber than squirrels, #good writing

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The Boss stands in front of a camera and Dogbert sits in a director's chair. Dogbert hands the Boss a script and says, "Stick to the script. Act sincere and beg your customers to forgive you." The Boss looks into the camera and reads, "It was wrong for us to sell keyboards with no 'Q.' We're sorry. We're morons." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch watching the Boss's television commercial. In the advertisement, the Boss says, "We're dumber than squirrels. We hear voices and do what they command. I have broccoli in my socks." Dilbert says, "Good writing." Dogbert responds, "Thanks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best assets, #competitions worst, #employees on job, #hidden camera, #imply, #they work for competition, #ad agency, #dogbert's ad agency

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Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #deluxe, #state of the art computer, #feel happy, #song, #sing a song, #no need people, #technology

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Dilbert: "35 inch monitor, 20 MEGs of RAM, 1.2 gigabytes of hard disk space..." "I feel a song coming on." "People...who don't need people...are the ha-a-a-ppiest people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #Wally, #the boss, #worklife balance

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I just realized I can double your workload and there's nothing you can do about it." The Boss continues, "You're lucky to have jobs in today's economy! You'll gladly sacrifice your personal lives for no extra pay!" Dilbert replies, "But at least our hard work will lead to promotion opportunities." The Boss says, "You're so cute. I wish I had a camera right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #watching tv, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cable tv, #man, #woman

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Dogbert aims a video camera at Ratbert. Dilbert asks, "What are you filming?" Dogbert replies, "Ratbert got his own cable tv channel." Dogbert explains, "Now that cable tv has a thousand channels they're desperate for original programs." A man and a woman sit on a couch watching television. The man points the remote control at the tv and says, "Back in the six hundreds I saw a rat slapping his head to a Barry Manilow tune." The woman says, "That's worth a second look."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #master, #earth, #message, #creature, #king, #retiring, #soft, #pillow

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair and says into a video camera, "This is Dogbert, Master of Earth, with a message to all creatures . . ." There is a satellite dish on the desk. A man and woman sit on their couch holding Dogbert signs and watching television. Dogbert says on tv, "I realized that you are all unworthy of having me as your king. I am retiring to go sit on a soft pillow." Dogbert lies on his pillow listening to the radio. Dogbert thinks, "No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #hijacked, #satellite, #signal, #hypnotized, #picture, #retrospect, #amusing

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Dogbert stands on the desk chair in front of a video camera. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "May I have a word with you?" Dilbert is holding a Dogbert sign. Dilbert says, "I understand that you hijacked a satellite signal and hypnotized everybody to carry your picture and chant your name. That is not amusing." Later, Dilbert says to Ratbert, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have said 'that is not amusing.'" They are both wearing brassieres.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #hypnotic, #powers, #supreme, #earth, #computer, #satellite

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Dogbert stands on the desk chair and says into a camera, "This is Dogbert . . . You are all under my hypnotic powers . . ." A satellite dish sits on the desk. Dogbert transmits to a satellite orbiting earth, "I am the supreme ruler of earth. You must all carry Dogbert posters and chant 'Dogbert is my king.'" Dogbert concludes, "That is all for now. If I think of anything else important I'll let you know." Ratbert enters holding a sign with Dogbert's picture on it and chanting, ". . . Is my king."