27 Times Comic Strips - Page 9

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138 Results for 27 Times

View 81 - 90 results for 27 times comic strips. Discover the best "27 Times" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #inform carol, #whereabouts, #wandering around, #canceled policy, #stupid policy, #work for carol, #keeping track everyone

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Dilbert and Wally are facing The Boss at a conference table. The Boss says, "Yesterday I needed to ask Dilbert a question but I couldn't find him." The Boss' voice continues, "From now on, each of you must inform Carol of your whereabouts at all times." Alice turns to Wally and whispers, "Handle it." Wally walks past Carol's desk with a coffee cup in his hand. He reports, "I'll be wandering around with my coffee cup." He continues, as Carol frowns in the background: "If I find a newspaper I'll take a break in marketing's luxurious rest facilities." He continues, "Then I'll stop by the cute intern's cubicle to do some flirting." Carol sits thoroughly irritated and he continues nonetheless: "I stand in her doorway so she can't escape. I think I'm making progress." He goes to take a sip of coffee and concludes, "I'm becoming immune to pepper spray." Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "I canceled your stupid policy." The Boss continues to read the newspaper, unaffected.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #elboninan fullfillment, #service, #thwart, #300 times, #string phones, #mud pile, #pig, #laughing, #animals

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Two Elbonians each have a tin can with string held up to their ears. One Elbonian says, "This is the Elbonian Fulfillment Service. How may I thwart you?" The Elbonians continue listening to their tin cans. One Elbonian hears, "Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt." The Elbonian holds his tin can away from his ear and says to the pig, "Okay, it wasn't funny the first 300 times either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #300 times, #coffee, #Funny, #jokes, #not funny, #sugar

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Wally and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice is putting packets of sugar in her coffee. Wally says, "Why don't you have a little coffee with your sugar, Alice?" Wally continues, "Heh, heh. It's funny because it's ususally the other way around." Wally, alone, thinks, "I don't see how something can be funny 300 times but 301 times."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consults, #consulting report, #exclusive rights, #microsoft, #dos, #good feeling, #behind the times

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The Boss says to his staff, "I saved the money by buying a used consulting report." The Boss continues, "We're going to give the exclusive rights for something called DOS to something called Microsoft." The Boss adds, "I have a good feeling about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #tiny dried peanut, #what would dogbert do, #what would dogbert do?, #god like, #worship, #dog worship, #friends, #ask yourself

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Walking down the street, Ratbert thinks to himself "At all times I ask myself, what would Dogbert do?" Ratbert also thinks, "Then it doesn't matter that my brain is the size of a tiny dried peanut." Ratbert pauses on the sidewalk with arms crossed and goes on to think, "That thought would make Dogbert hungry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #back in 10, #managers, #over communicate, #times of uncertainty, #you're fired, #ted fired

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The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bonus is 5%, #don't feel bad, #salary, #salary differences, #the boss, #intern ages, #inequity, #allow to feel bad, #money

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The boss gives an envelope to Asok and says: "Asok, your bonus is only 5% this year.Don't feel bad; I only got 5% too." Asok says to the boss: "But 5% of your salary is four times more than 5% of my salary." Asok says to the boss: "May I feel bad about that?" The boss answers: "Sure. Go wild!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dont understand, #follow a process, #failed thirty times, #optimism

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Dilbert stands at desk of The Boss and says, "Here's what I don't understand..." Dilbert says, "You just asked me to follow a process that has failed thirty times in a row and you know it." Dilbert says, "At what point can this no longer be called 'optimism'?" The Boss says, "When it succeeds?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #shooting credenza, #tina was bad, #card board, #special hat, #suspended, #sentence

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Caption: "Catbert"evil hr Director" Tina sits in catbert's office. Catbert says, "Tina, you are accused of shooting the CIO's credenza five times." Catbert scribbles with a pencil on a piece of paper and says, "I'm writing "Tina was bad" on this cardboard. I order you to attach it to a special hat for two weeks." Tina wears a hat with a stick that hangs over her head. The sign hangs off the stick. Dilbert says, "How did it go?" Tina says, "I got a suspended sentence."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer of information, #cios office, #delete meail, #server, #message, #insulting email, #regeret sending

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Tina faces Mordac who stands in front of a closed door. Mordac says, "Why do you seek Mordac - the preventer of information services?" Tina opens her purse and says, "I regret sending an insulting e-mail message to our CIO. I need to delete it from the server." Tina shoots at the door several times. Tina says, "The server was in that closet, right?" Mordac says, "That's the CIO's office."