Advice Comic Strips - Page 9

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200 Results for Advice

View 81 - 90 results for Advice comic strips. Discover the best "Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Fifty Tips For Success

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Fifty Tips For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, career advice, obliviousness, secret, success, tech millionaire

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Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.

The Illusion Of Leadership

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The Illusion Of Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags absent mindedness, Advice, forget, forgetfulness, jargon, leadership, managers, managers & supervisors, business

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Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.

Carol Has Passion For Her Job

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Carol Has Passion For Her Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, boredom, boring, email, fake passion, forwarded email, mindless, passion, success, warren buffet, work ethic

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Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!

Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else

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Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, problem, problems, snag, prodcuts, accept failure, lie, transfer problem, father, old sayings, Family

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Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, bad advice, projects, work load, freaking out, tackle, unpleasant tasks first, wrong order

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Dilbert: I have too many projects. I'm freaking out. Boss: Experts say you should tackle the most unpleasant tasks first, so you have a feeling of accomplishment and control. Dilbert: Now I have too many projects and some extra anxiety that I'm doing them in the wrong order. Boss: Off you go.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimism, work ethic, career advancement, asking advice, pet kangaroo, marry one, time lag, Promotion

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Dilbert: Research says that asking for advice doubles your odds of career advancement. Do you think I should get a pet kangaroo? Boss: I don't care if you marry one. Dilbert: I wonder how long the time lag is until my promotion.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boredom, non-fiction, ghostwrite, leadership advice, sounds boring, read, secretary, request

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Boss: Tina, I want you to ghostwrite a book of my leadership advice. Tina: Do you plan to read it? Boss: NO, it sounds boring.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, work ethic, personal lifestley engineer, career advice, work and leisure, hours per week, ideal means

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Woman: What kind of engineer are you? Wally: I'm a personal lifestyle engineer. I engineer my career to achieve an ideal balance of work and leisure. Woman: How many hours per week do you work? Wally: I don't think you know what "ideal" means.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, son to work, Advice, age, idiots, career decisions, expecting, unforeseen problems, business

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Carol: I brought my son to work. Do you have any career advice for him? Dilbert: All boys your age are idiots. If you make any career decisions today, your life will forever be determined by an idiot. Boss: Are we expecting any unforeseen problems today? Dilbert: But you get used to it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags efficiency experts, Advice, consultatn, cms, same advice, pay to leave

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Boss: On the advice of our consultant, we're going to rewrite the CMS from scratch. Alice: How much did you pay the consultant for the same advice your employees gave you for free? Boss: I don't pay consultants for advice. I pay them to leave.