Advice Comic Strips - Page 9
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200 Results for Advice
View 81 - 90 results for Advice comic strips. Discover the best "Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 14,
2015
Fifty Tips For Success
Tags Advice, career advice, obliviousness, secret, success, tech millionaire
Transcript
Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.
Tuesday January 13,
2015
The Illusion Of Leadership
Tags absent mindedness, Advice, forget, forgetfulness, jargon, leadership, managers, managers & supervisors, business
Transcript
Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.
Tuesday December 23,
2014
Carol Has Passion For Her Job
Tags Advice, boredom, boring, email, fake passion, forwarded email, mindless, passion, success, warren buffet, work ethic
Transcript
Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!
Saturday November 22,
2014
Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else
Tags Advice, bad advice, problem, problems, snag, prodcuts, accept failure, lie, transfer problem, father, old sayings, Family
Transcript
Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?
Friday September 26,
2014
Tags anxiety, bad advice, projects, work load, freaking out, tackle, unpleasant tasks first, wrong order
Transcript
Dilbert: I have too many projects. I'm freaking out. Boss: Experts say you should tackle the most unpleasant tasks first, so you have a feeling of accomplishment and control. Dilbert: Now I have too many projects and some extra anxiety that I'm doing them in the wrong order. Boss: Off you go.
Saturday September 13,
2014
Tags optimism, work ethic, career advancement, asking advice, pet kangaroo, marry one, time lag, Promotion
Transcript
Dilbert: Research says that asking for advice doubles your odds of career advancement. Do you think I should get a pet kangaroo? Boss: I don't care if you marry one. Dilbert: I wonder how long the time lag is until my promotion.
Thursday August 07,
2014
Tags boredom, non-fiction, ghostwrite, leadership advice, sounds boring, read, secretary, request
Transcript
Boss: Tina, I want you to ghostwrite a book of my leadership advice. Tina: Do you plan to read it? Boss: NO, it sounds boring.
Friday July 11,
2014
Tags engineers, work ethic, personal lifestley engineer, career advice, work and leisure, hours per week, ideal means
Transcript
Woman: What kind of engineer are you? Wally: I'm a personal lifestyle engineer. I engineer my career to achieve an ideal balance of work and leisure. Woman: How many hours per week do you work? Wally: I don't think you know what "ideal" means.
Wednesday July 02,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, son to work, Advice, age, idiots, career decisions, expecting, unforeseen problems, business
Transcript
Carol: I brought my son to work. Do you have any career advice for him? Dilbert: All boys your age are idiots. If you make any career decisions today, your life will forever be determined by an idiot. Boss: Are we expecting any unforeseen problems today? Dilbert: But you get used to it.
Tuesday July 01,
2014
Tags efficiency experts, Advice, consultatn, cms, same advice, pay to leave
Transcript
Boss: On the advice of our consultant, we're going to rewrite the CMS from scratch. Alice: How much did you pay the consultant for the same advice your employees gave you for free? Boss: I don't pay consultants for advice. I pay them to leave.

