Alice Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Alice

View 81 - 90 results for Alice comic strips. Discover the best "Alice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Darkest Before The Dawn

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Darkest Before The Dawn - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Our product pipeline looks dismal. Boss: It's always darkest before the dawn. Alice: You're comparing product development to the solar system. I don't know what to do with that. Boss: What would Jesus do?

Health Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags age, complaining, health, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags earth, mistake, plants, technology, inventions, atmosphere

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Robot Has A Cyborg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Has A Cyborg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insults, Kids, office workers, robot, technology, smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.

Best Product

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, jokes, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm, presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Job Is 98 Percent Interruption

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Job Is 98 Percent Interruption  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, engineering, frustrated, jobs, office workers, listen

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: My job is 2% work and 98% getting interrupted. I can't focus long enough to finish anything. Dilbert: Are you done? I'm trying to work. Alice: You're a bad listener.

Ai Is Stupid For An Hour

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Is Stupid For An Hour - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, robot, sarcasm, social media, stupidity, technology, twitter, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Your so-called breakthrough in artificial intelligence is a fraud. I talked to it for an hour, and everything it said was stupid. Wait...that's the same as using Twitter. Dilbert: Is it too soon to call me a genius?

First Ai As Smart As Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
First Ai As Smart As Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, invention, office workers, robot, technology, logic, conspiracy, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.

Boxes With Names

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, suspicious, layoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, office workers, punishment, threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!