Alice Date Comic Strips - Page 9
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1000 Results for Alice Date
View 81 - 90 results for alice date comic strips. Discover the best "Alice Date" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 11,
2019
Keyboard Clicks
Tags business, cell phone, office, office workers
Transcript
alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.
Wednesday April 10,
2019
Alice Won't Shake Hands
Tags business, office, office workers, presentation, germs
Transcript
the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?
Friday March 01,
2019
Being Like A Man
Tags advertising, business, criticism, men and women, relations between the sexes, sales
Transcript
Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.
Thursday February 28,
2019
Mandatory Training
Tags avoidance, office, office workers, sarcasm, training
Transcript
Boss: You haven't finished the mandatory compliance training modules. Alice: I'm waiting for a strategic time to do them. Boss: Oh, okay. Want to go to lunch? Alice: I would love to, but I have training modules to do.
Friday February 22,
2019
Darkest Before The Dawn
Tags business, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, office workers
Transcript
Alice: Our product pipeline looks dismal. Boss: It's always darkest before the dawn. Alice: You're comparing product development to the solar system. I don't know what to do with that. Boss: What would Jesus do?
Monday February 18,
2019
Health Problems
Tags age, complaining, health, office, office workers
Transcript
Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.
Tuesday February 12,
2019
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient
Tags earth, mistake, plants, technology, inventions, atmosphere
Transcript
Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?
Monday February 04,
2019
Robot Has A Cyborg
Tags insults, Kids, office workers, robot, technology, smartphone
Transcript
Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.
Wednesday January 30,
2019
Best Product
Tags criticism, jokes, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm, presentation
Transcript
Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.
Monday January 14,
2019
Job Is 98 Percent Interruption
Tags distraction, engineering, frustrated, jobs, office workers, listen
Transcript
Alice: My job is 2% work and 98% getting interrupted. I can't focus long enough to finish anything. Dilbert: Are you done? I'm trying to work. Alice: You're a bad listener.