Arms Out Comic Strips - Page 9
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1000 Results for Arms Out
View 81 - 90 results for arms out comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 12,
2019
Prove A Negative
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, accusations, negative
Transcript
ceo to dilbert: is this everything i need to know? dilbert: yes. ceo: how can you be sure there isn't something out there we don't know about? dlbert: are you asking me to prove a negative? ceo: it's more of an accusation than a question.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday June 03,
2019
Touch Base With Carl
Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers
Transcript
the boss: can you reach out to carl and touch base? dilbert: can you restate that using normal words? the boss: i could, but then it would feel as if i'm not managing you.
Wednesday May 29,
2019
Never Stop Dreaming
Tags business, sleeping, inspirational quotes, Dilbert, boss
Transcript
the boss: i printed out some inspirational slogans to motivate you. the boss: the first one is "never stop dreaming." wally: zzzz-zzzz.
Sunday May 12,
2019
Tags bugs, business, fire, office, office workers, quit, system
Transcript
ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.
Friday May 10,
2019
Bad Planning
Tags business, office, office workers, teamwork, team, deadline
Transcript
ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.
Sunday April 28,
2019
Wally Needs A Raise
Tags business, office, office workers, system, architect, Promotion, pay raise
Transcript
wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.
Sunday April 14,
2019
Wally Plans His Retirement
Tags business, office, office workers, retirement, profit
Transcript
wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.
Thursday April 11,
2019
Keyboard Clicks
Tags business, cell phone, office, office workers
Transcript
alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.
Monday April 08,
2019
Offensive Product Name
Tags business, insults, office, office workers, elbonian
Transcript
dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.
Monday April 01,
2019
Nuclear Power Invention
Tags money, office, office workers, nuclear power
Transcript
dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.

