Asok Admires Wally Comic Strips - Page 9
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View 81 - 90 results for asok admires wally comic strips. Discover the best "Asok Admires Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 27, 2018's comic on:
Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.
Share November 25, 2018's comic on:
Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?
Share November 24, 2018's comic on:
Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.
Share November 19, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: We know our boss's plan is a bad idea, but it's our job to execute anyway. Wally: Maybe we should try to sabotage the plan by being incompetent. Dilbert: Since when do you need a reason to be incompetent? Wally: It's more of a "nice but not necessary" situation.
Share November 17, 2018's comic on:
Boss: The network will be down all day, but try to do what you can without it. Dilbert: What can we do without it besides drink coffee, complain, and whittle? Boss: No knives at work. Dilbert: Hold off on the whittling.
Share November 15, 2018's comic on:
Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.
Share November 04, 2018's comic on:
Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.
Share November 03, 2018's comic on:
Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.
Share October 31, 2018's comic on:
Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.
Share October 27, 2018's comic on:
CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.