Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 9
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 81 - 90 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 11,
2020
Better Fast Than Good
Tags boss, email, office workers, sadness, sarcasm, time, truth
Transcript
Dilbert: I got your email, but I didn't have time to include your upgrades on my analysis. It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it's late. Alice: Why is it that everything true is also sad? Dilbert: That's how the truth works.
Monday June 01,
2020
Wally Has Symptoms
Tags lie, office workers, sickness, pandemic, virus
Transcript
Wally: My throat has a tickle, so I'd better take a month off of work. The coronavirus tests can have some false negatives, and I love you too much to put you at risk. Dilbert: Did it work? Wally: No, I sold it too hard.
Sunday May 31,
2020
One Source Of Stress
Tags business, work at home, human, contact, stress, co-workers, bored, print, money
Transcript
dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.
Sunday May 24,
2020
Stopping Theft Everywhere
Tags office workers, business, technology, system, reduce, theft, dumb, product
Transcript
dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.
Wednesday May 20,
2020
High Fives
Tags boss, hygiene, life, office workers, virus, pandemic, social distancing
Transcript
Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.
Sunday May 17,
2020
Asok Meditates
Tags coffee, psychology, sarcasm, business, meditation, think, work, co-worker, technology, enlightenment
Transcript
asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.
Saturday May 16,
2020
Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server
Tags coronavirus, business, technology, network, upgrade, server, boss, latency, locks, garage, sleep, face mask, work from home
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask and carrying computer bag: i'm going into the office to upgrade a server. according to my boss, reducing network latency is more important than my life. can i depend on you to not change the locks while i'm gone? dogbert: only if you sleep in the garage.
Friday May 15,
2020
No Interruptions At Home
Tags technology, business, working, home, workday, productivity, anger, annoying, bowel, problems
Transcript
dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert: i like working from home. i can do eight hours of work in one hour because no one is interrupting me. dogbert yelling: i'm trying to work here! dilbert: did i tell you about my bowel problems? dogbert: go away!
Friday April 24,
2020
Dogbert Hovers
Tags business, working from home, annoy, work, hear, footsteps, hoover, health, coronavirus, excuse, living
Transcript
dilbert: i can't get any work done at home because i keep hearing your footsteps all day! dogbert: excuse me for living. i'll try hovering from now on. dilbert: can you do that? dogbert hovering: there's a lot you don't know about me.
Tuesday April 21,
2020
Coronavirus
Tags 24 hours, business, coronavirus, health, home, remote, tragic, work from home
Transcript
dilbert: i'm working at home to avoid the coronavirus. i'll have to stay here 24 hours a day. dogbert: that's tragic. dilbert: i don't mind. dogbert: i meant tragic for me.

