Away From Scoiety Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

474 Results for Away From Scoiety

View 81 - 90 results for away from scoiety comic strips. Discover the best "Away From Scoiety" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human reasources, #resume, #sense of desparation, #janitor, #clean toiltes, #bury janitor

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I've seen your resume and I sense desperation." Catbert says, "Our janitor recently passed away, so I have a job for you." A man says, "You want me to clean toilets?" Catbert says, "No, I want you to bury the janitor."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #being moved, #50 miles each way, #hundred

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, you can keep your job but your office is being moved 50 miles away." Ted says, "Gosh, I guess I could drive another 50 miles each way." The Boss says, "How about a hundred?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #new cubilces, #boss, #coworkers, #picked one, #anything changed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I've been away from work so long, I wonder if anything has changed." The Boss says, "You weren't here when we moved to new cubicles so your coworkers picked one for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #mock interview, #weasel, #edit trainer, #costume, #human costume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #hauled away, #human resources, #questioning mental stability, #sealed in concrete, #wrapped in plastic, #bodies hidden, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Go to human resources for a psychological evaluation." Dilbert says, "Why??? Have I said anything that is abnormal?" The Boss says, "You're an engineer. Everything you say is abnormal." Catbert says, "Question one: How many bodies are hidden in the crawl space under your house?" Dilbert says, "If they are hidden, how would I know?" Catbert says, "Well, maybe you would smell them." Dilbert says, "Not if they were wrapped in heavy plastic and sealed in concrete." Wally says, "How'd it go?" Dilbert says, "Not so good."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #illusion of value, #meeting, #obvious, #maintain illusion, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It's obvious what I need to do next. But I'll let you tell me so you can maintain the illusion of value. The Boss: stop being this way. Dilbert: I saw that coming a mile away."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #face, #hate goatees, #powers of extreme, #uncoolness, #another goatee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "What's wrong with your face?" Wally: "It's a goatee. I hate goatees, so I am using my powers of extreme uncoolness to make them go away." Dilbert: "That could work." man: "GAAA!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #favor, #comments, #article, #go away, #wait util tomorrow, #hope, #worthless, #extra work, #worsen results, #ignoring needs

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "Wally, can I get your comments on my article by tomorrow?" Wally: "Sure." Tina: "You say, 'sure,' but we both know it's a lie." "You just want me to go away." "You plan to wait until tomorrow and make an excuse." "Then you'll hope I'll give up." Wally: "Yes, but remember, my comments are always worthless, they would cause you extra work and worsen the result." "So if I give you nothing. Everyone wins." Tina: "In that case, thank you for ignoring my needs." Wally: "It's the least I could do."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2007's comic on:


Tags #security consulatant, #without id, #badge, #strip search, #confiscate wallet, #lock him janitors closet, #extreme, #living on mop water

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "If you see someone without an ID badge..." "...Strip search him, confiscate his wallet, and lock him in the janitor's closet until he starves!" The boss: "That seems a bit extreme." Dogbert: "You're about one minute away from living on mop water."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #help alice, #argument, #team work, #control killing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My accomplishment this week was helping Alice finish her project in a timely manner." Alice: "You didn't do anything to help me." Wally: "Sure I did." "Remember when I came to your cubicle to ask for some data I need for my project?" "You said you were too busy, and shooed me away." Alice: "If I had insisted on doing my job, you would have had less time to do yours." Wally: "It's called teamwork." "Are we still big on that?" Alice: "Must control...First...Of...Death."