Awesome Leader Comic Strips - Page 9
134 Results for Awesome Leader
View 81 - 90 results for awesome leader comic strips. Discover the best "Awesome Leader" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 26, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I call my invention a carbicle." Dilbert says, "It's 50% car, 50% cubicle, and 100% awesome." Dilbert says, "it is the ultimate expression of human efficiency." Dilbert says, "Rarely does an engineer get to create something so perfect that it can never me improved." Dilbert says, "I hesitate to use the word 'genius,' but I won't protest if others do." Dogbert says, "You should cram a bed in there." Dilbert says, "Shut up." Dogbert says, "You shut up."
Share July 14, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Where am I? What happened?" Dogbert says, "Someone hit you with a rock." Dogbert says, "The swelling in your prefrontal cortex will make you care less about hurting people, thus making you a natural leader." "Dilbert says, "There's also a bump on the back of my head." Dogbert says, "That's so you don't remember who threw the rocks."
Share March 12, 2008's comic on:
Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"
Share March 11, 2008's comic on:
It's pronounced Hay-soos. Jesus: My name is Jesus, and I seek twelve people to work on my project. I am the saver of databases. Join me to upgrade our systems. Jesus: First, we're all going to lunch. Asok: I have a bad feeling about this."
Share March 08, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, this is your new team leader. He spells his name like Jesus but it's pronounced Hay-Soos. If you do what Jesus would do, you can enjoy your retirement. Wally: I have a coffee stain that looks just like you. Jesus: I get that a lot."
Share October 11, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: I hired an unqualified crony to run our quality control group. "I value loyalty over competence. That's the sign of a great leader." Dilbert: "Do you see any problem with that?" The Boss: "It makes you look extra disloyal?"
Share November 05, 2006's comic on:
"Today I will teach you how to use your incompetence to achieve your goals." "Step 1: Be incompetent. (Also known as 'the easy part.')" "Step 2: Volunteer for the most difficult and important projects" "Step 3: Convince your boss that an enemy within the company is slowing you down." "Step 4: Insist that competent people be pulled off of other projects to help you." "Step 5: Declare yourself the leader of the competent people" "Step 6: Claim credit for the work of the competent people." "Step 7: After you get promoted, fire the competent people to eliminate witnesses."
Share July 20, 2006's comic on:
I find it rather demotivating that you never praise me for a job well done. "You've never done a job well." "That's because I'm demotivated." "You have to go first." "Wouldn't that make me the leader?"
Share June 18, 2006's comic on:
"Your project came in 10% over budget." "Actually, it came in at exactly what I estimated." "You cut my budget by 10% because you wanted to feel like a leader." "I assume you'll give me a huge raise to reward my excellent estimating ability." "Why can't you be like Wally? His project budget was $10,000,000 and he only spent $147." "If you're so smart, explain that!" "That's hard to explain without using the phrase 'You gullible toad.'" "I'm next. What kind of mood is he in?" "Not so good."
Share August 11, 2005's comic on:
The boss: "The project post-mortem will only be helpful if each of you is honest about what went wrong." "Your colossal ineptitude as a leader suppressed our natural talents, leaving us listless and unfocused." "And by 'honest', I mean blaming people who aren't here." "Look! You're doing it again!"