Brittle People Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Brittle People

View 81 - 90 results for brittle people comic strips. Discover the best "Brittle People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Tons Of Experience

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tons Of Experience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #employment, #interviews, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #experience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We only hire people who have experience. Man: How can I get experience if no one wants to hire inexperienced people? Boss: We do hire liars. Man: Oh, good. I have tons of experience.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #Wally, #computer, #problem, #crumbs, #crosstalk, #protocols, #help

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.

Dogbert's Pep Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Pep Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #virtual, #forget, #real, #people, #inadequate, #talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm worried that if I spend too much time using virtual reality, I'll forget how to talk to real people. Dogbert: I doubt you could get more boring and inadequate than you already are.

Candor Monster

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Candor Monster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #carol, #radical candor, #therapy, #criticism, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My new system of using "radical candor," is working out great. I've been criticizing people all morning and only three of them went into therapy over it. Now I turn my candor to you. Carol: Die, monster!

Wally's Track Record As Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Track Record As Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #abuse, #Wally, #Dilbert, #coffee, #self-inflicted, #injuries, #interns

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I checked up on all of the interns I've mentored over the years. Most of them died from self-inflicted inures. Dilbert: And the rest? Wally: The rest were killed by other people.

Dilbert Offers To Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!

Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #talking, #coffee, #boring, #moment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I recently realized how much I enjoy listening to myself talk. The alternative involves listening to people who are boring and wrong about everything. Dilbert: That's not... Wally: Shhh! Don't ruin a perfect moment.

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.

One Problem Becomes Two

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
One Problem Becomes Two - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #complaint, #belief, #Opinion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Today a dozen people got angry at me because they believed I was privately thinking the opposite of what I was saying. Why can't people just listen to my words?? Dogbert: Have you tried not being boring? Dilbert: Whenever I tell you I have one problem, I leave with two.