Called Resources Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

461 Results for Called Resources

View 81 - 90 results for called resources comic strips. Discover the best "Called Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.

Technical Analysis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Technical Analysis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #stock market, #stocks, #squirrel sitting, #clown shoulder, #technical analysis, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.

Dilbert Characters

Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothing, #dress code, #fashion, #human resources, #obliviousness, #sex appeal, #sexiness, #co workers, #tube clothes, #modifications, #distarction, #corduroy tube, #libido killer, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Your co-workers are complaining that your tube clothes distract them from work. Dilbert: I can make some modifications so I'm less sexy. That should cut down on the distraction. Catbert: We might not be on the same page. Dilbert: I could wear a corduroy tube. That's a libido killer.

Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #lying, #tardiness, #traffic, #vacuum, #freak accident, #vacuuming naked, #bad traffic

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #intern, #interns, #Promotion, #promotions, #no career path, #internship, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it my imagination or is there no career path here from intern to anything else? Catbert: If we promote you, we just have to find another intern. No one wins in that scenario. Asok: Actually, I would be the winner in that scenario. Catbert: I've never thought of it that way and I don't like it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #egyptians, #engineers, #human resources, #pyramids, #pharoahs, #secrets, #reschedule, #meeting, #historically accurate, #new policy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Egyptian pharaohs killed the engineers who build their pyramids so they would never share their secrets. Dilbert: No... I don't think they did. Catbert: Really? Dang! Can we reschedule this meeting until I find a historically accurate explanation of our new policy?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #high five, #human resources, #managers, #work ethic, #trash talking, #emplyee, #boss, #desk, #practice, #cat, #human, #animals, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I'm getting complaints that you've been trash-talking employees' families so they'll spend more time at work. I stopped by to give you a high-five from Human Resources. Your aim is terrible. Boss: The first one was practice~

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #work ethic, #human resources, #feeling of inadequency, #boost company profits, #all weekedn, #adequate temporary basis, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: My job in Human Resources is to instill in you a permanent feeling of inadequacy. Your only hope for feeling good about yourself is to work feverishly to boos company profits. If you work all weekend for free, I am willing to call you adequate on a temporary basis. Dilbert: I'll take it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consumes resources, #cruelty, #gentle with crticism, #software, #soils itself, #technology, #tradition, #useless blob, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Tradition requires you to disparage every technology decision made before you got involved. But please be gentle with your criticism of my software. It's like my baby. Dilbert: If you mean your software is a useless blob that consumes resources and soils itself, we are in agreement.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #electronic mail, #mobile (cell) phones, #instant message, #emailed, #texted, #personal phone, #called, #inperson, #negate, #ignore, #push away, #no answer, #excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You never answered my IM. Alice: You should have emailed me. Dilbert: I did. You didn't answer my email. Alice: If it was so important, you should have texted me. Dilbert: You didn't answer my texts. Alice; You have to text my personal phone. Dilbert: You didn't answer those texts either. Alice: Had it been important, you would have called me. Dilbert: I did. You didn't answer your phone and you don't return calls. So here I am. Alice: It's premature to get your hopes up.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personnel officers, #hr approval, #enjoying pain, #new rule, #interview qiuestions, #awkward feelings, #cat, #desk, #laughing at boss, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Interviews are getting awkward because of the new rule that human resources has to approve all questions. And you haven't approved any yet. Catbert: Heh heh heh heh heh heh! Boss: Stop enjoying my pain! Catbert: Stop making it so enjoyable!