Calls Loser Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

175 Results for Calls Loser

View 81 - 90 results for calls loser comic strips. Discover the best "Calls Loser" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clammy offcie, #all clammy, #hands are clammy, #underpants

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is in his office. He thinks, with a panicked expression on his face, "It's not just my desk; it's the chair, too!" The Boss stops Dilbert in the hallway and says, "Dilbert, come here!" The Boss leads Dilbert into his office and says, "Everything in my office feels clammy." The Boss continues, "I first noticed when I touched my phone.. then my mouse." The Boss says, "All clammy." He pauses and then asks, "What could it mean?" Dilbert responds, "It could mean your hands are clammy." Dilbert walks away whistling. The Boss calls after him, "You must never speak of this." At a meeting, Wally turns to The Boss and asks, "Have you ever noticed that everything you sit on feels like underpants?" Dilbert looks away guiltily.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fifty candiadtes, #good news, #low level lackeys, #once in a lifetime, #paperwork from promotion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stops an employee in the hallway and says, "I have some good news for you!" The Boss puts his arm around the employee and says, "The paperwork for your promotion just came through." The Boss says, "There were fifty good candidates for this job." The Boss hands the paperwork to the employee and says, "It's a once-in-a- lifetime opportunity." The Boss continues, "Most people in your specialty are destined to be low-level lackeys forever. But not you!" The employee reads the paperwork and says, "Umm.. my name is Tim. This promotion is for Tom." The Boss replies, "Oh..." He pauses and then continues, "Well.. being a low- level lackey forever is good, too." Tim walks out crying. The Boss calls after him, "Could you tell Tom I have some good news?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loser magazine, #forgetting, #sounds good, #fame

View Transcript

Transcript

The reporter says to Wally, "Your story is perfect for 'Loser Magazine.'" The reporter continues, "It makes me wish I'd written it down because I'm already forgetting...Oops, it's gone." The reporter concludes, "I'll just make up something that sounds good. And I'll use photos of a model. Thanks, Willy." Wally thinks, "I'm famous!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loser magazine, #pen, #easy questions, #borrow pen, #chewer, #denied loan

View Transcript

Transcript

The reporter approaches Wally and says, "Wally, I'd like to interview you for 'Loser Magazine.'" Wally responds, "Okay." The reporter asks, "Do you have a pen?" Wally says, "Wow. These are easy questions." The reporter says, "I mean, may I borrow your pen?" Wally responds, "No, you look like a chewer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loser magazine, #featuring you, #cover photo, #breakroom, #napping, #show offs

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol enters Wally's cubicle and says, "A man from 'Loser Magazine' wants to see you." Carol continues, "He said something about featuring you on the cover." Wally replies, "Send him over." Carol looks out and says, "I tried, but he keeps going into the break room and napping." Wally responds, "I hate show-offs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer references, #parking lot, #ring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. Dilbert asks, "Do you have any customer references I could call?" The salesman hands him a piece of paper and says, "Right here." Dilbert calls the number, "Beep, beep, boop, beep." The salesman's cell phone rings. The salesman's cell phone continues to ring. Dilbert says, "No answer." The salesman replies, "Try again when I'm in the parking lot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bailing on project, #ensure survival, #loser pill, #rejected by wally, #pill, #therapy, #therapist, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm bailing out of your project; it has the scent of failure." As Wally walks away, he adds, "I will attach myself to a more successful host to ensure my survival." Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch. He says, "Do you have a pill for someone who gets rejected by Wally?" The therapist replies, "A loser pill?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #Dilbert, #dont idel well, #freaks out, #gets phone call, #lost connection, #meeting, #sit still challenge, #mind body connection, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, come here for a minute." The Boss and Dilbert are walking towards The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "I need to talk to you about..." He is interrupted by the ringing telephone. The Boss is on the telephone. He holds up his finger at Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "He's giving me the 'wait' signal." Dilbert continues to think, "I have nothing to look at, nothing to fiddle with, nothing to do." Dilbert continues to think, "I'll try thinking about how my mind controls my muscles." Dilbert's arms start shaking. He thinks, "Uh-oh... I'm getting too conscious of my muscles and it's freaking me out." Dilbert falls back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I've lost my mind-body connection!!" Dilbert is on the floor with his feet up in the air. The Boss says into the phone, "The problem with my engineers is that they don't idle well."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lazy beaver, #excuses, #doesnt return calls, #making excuses, #more jobs, #future jobs, #scamming, #both sdies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide of the beaver and says, "The project is behind schedule because our contractor is a lazy beaver." Dilbert says to The Boss, "For a while he was making up excuses. Now, he doesn't return calls." The Boss replies, "What's your plan?" Dilbert says, "I hope to get him back to making up excuses by promising him more jobs in the future."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #delight, #lower pay, #new member, #project team, #shirt backwards

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a coworker to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I got a new member for your project team." The coworker extends his hand and says, "My name is Ron but everyone calls me Mo. I don't know why." Dilbert asks, "Mo, why is your shirt on backward?" Mo looks down and exclaims, "What??! Again??!" Mo extends his arms and says, "Stand back. I'll try to fix it by quickly turning around." Mo spins and exclaims, "Aaagh! Hu-aah!" Mo is turned away from Dilbert. Mo says, "Oh, great. Now Dilbert is gone. I must have entered another dimension." Dilbert looks at Mo from behind, puzzled. Dilbert approaches The Boss and says, "Please tell me that his pay is lower than mine." The Boss grins and thinks, "I love this part."