Cloud Start Up Comic Strips - Page 9

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348 Results for Cloud Start Up

View 81 - 90 results for cloud start up comic strips. Discover the best "Cloud Start Up" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Working In The Cloud

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Wally Working In The Cloud - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #laziness, #the cloud, #work ethic, #software, #issues, #cell coverage, #home, #doing nothing, #engineering

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Wally: If you need me, I'll be in the cloud fixing a software issue. There's no cell coverage in the cloud, so it might seem to you as if I am at home doing nothing. If you need me, I'll be at home doing nothing. Dilbert: Why would anyone need you?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chakras, #compatibility, #dancing, #dating, #yoga, #risk, #guzzle wine, #live music, #chakra energy, #hives, #hate dance, #relationships

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Woman: I like dancing and... Dilbert: I'm out. I avoid any relationship that has a risk of dancing. Woman: You're rejecting me because I like to dance? Dilbert: Yeah, it would start out all innocent... but two months into it you'd be guzzling wine and dragging me toward live music. Then you'd start doing all this... and this... and some of this... Woman: I also enjoy doing yoga to release my chakra energy. Does that bother you? Dilbert: I think I'm getting hives.

Alice Is Rested From Vacation

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Alice Is Rested From Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #relaxation, #stress, #vacation, #work, #rested, #aftreglow, #text message, #enraged

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Alice: I feel so rested and relaxed after my vacation. I wonder how long this afterglow will last because... excuse me while I check this text message. Dilbert: Is it too late to start timing it? [Alice is on fire]

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #investor, #investors, #pick up lines, #start up idea, #funding, #saturday night drinks, #date

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Alice: An angel investor agreed to meet with me about my start-up idea. Dilbert: You need to be careful because he might be... Alice: We're meeting for drinks at his house on Saturday night. Dilbert: I'm socially inept and even I know that sounds wrong. Alice: He keeps texting to say he can't wait to fund me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Family, #husbands, #priorities, #work ethic, #balancing, #trash talk, #guilty, #busywork, #husband, #relationships

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Boss: Carol, I know it isn't easy balancing your work duties and your family. So I thought it would help if I trash-talk your family. That way you won't feel so guilty when you ignore them to do my busywork. I'll start with your husband. Carol: Don't bother. I got that one covered.

Engineering

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Engineering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #hiring, #negativity, #personality tests, #resumes, #special algorithms, #personality, #stupidity, #engineering, #psychology

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Catbert: No one looks at resumes anymore. Now we use special algorithms to see where your personality fits in our culture. Man: That process sounds like a steaming pile of stupidity that will beat itself to death in a few years. Catbert: I'll start you in engineering. You'll fit right in.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pessimism, #start up idea, #pivoting, #optimisim, #enthusiam, #doomed

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Dilbert: I have an idea for a start-up. Dogbert: You're doomed. Dilbert: Maybe the first idea won't work, but I'll keep pivoting until something does. Dogbert: You're doomed. Dilbert: The most important thing is that I need to keep my optimism and enthusiasm high. Dogbert: You're doomed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #venture capitalists, #reputation of the angel, #angel investors, #skill of engineers, #huge raise, #big chicken

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Dilbert: Do you know what venture capitalists care about when they make investment decisions? They care about the reputation of the angel investors who already put money in. DO you know what the angel investors care about? They care about the skill of the engineers. Therefore, you should give me a huge raise or else I'll quit and do my own start -up. BOSS: GO ahead you big chicken. Your going to die poor! HAHAHA!! Dilbert: That was harsh. Boss: and yet you didn't resign . any more questions?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #competition (psychology), #start up, #pay half, #stay or go

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Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #obliviousness, #act like start up, #ask for funding, #hacker

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CEO: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean we can ask for funding for one thing and then pivot six times and build something entirely different? CEO: Is there a version where we don't do any of that and I can still call myself a hacker?