Completion Date Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

202 Results for Completion Date

View 81 - 90 results for completion date comic strips. Discover the best "Completion Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #better deal, #coworkers, #hike jacket, #lunch, #miser salad, #paying half, #respected colleague, #steaks

View Transcript

Transcript

WallyL Tina would you like y go to lunch with me? as a coworker or as a date? as a respected colleague. tina: sounds fishy. I know you're up to something: I just don't know what. you're getting the better deal. I'll be looking at your face but you get to look at me. Maybe you could hike up your jacket to occur your face. wally: fair enough, Tina: thi sis not a a=date. I insist on paying fifty percent. wally: Ok. Tina: I'll have the miser salad and water. wally: I'll have three half priced new york steaks.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stalking new hire, #date tomorrow, #employee orientation, #workplace hazards

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: hows your stalking of the new hire going? Wally: we have a date for tomorrow. Alice: She's in an employee orientation meeting today. wally: Uh - oh. Module four is about identifying workplace hazards.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #hits on hire, #crazy mess, #problems, #asks to move in, #wants dinner

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: "Your life is a rolling disaster, so I figure I should ask you for a date." "I'm hoping that the source of your problem is that you consistently make poor choices." "Maybe you could buy some groceries and make me a nice dinner." "Would you like to move in with me?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software faults, #ship date, #future development, #coulumn, #what to call stuff, #figuring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We still have too many software faults. We'll miss our ship date. The boss: "Move the list of faults to the 'future development' column and ship it." "90% of this job is figuring out what to call stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor list, #excuses, #same excuses, #password, #palusible, #changed

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, do you have the approved vendor list?" "It's on the net. The password is 'Wally.'" "Hmm, you always say information is on the net when I know it's not. Yet, by mentioning a password it sounds plausible." "So, first I'll find out that the password has changed. Then I'll find out the list is out of date. What am I forgetting?" "User name."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unfunded man date, #my delivery, #no one laughs, #unemployed guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I went to a movie with an unemployed guy. I call that an unfunded man date. The unemployed guy didn't laugh either, Maybe its my delivery,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat show, #clothing, #date, #good listener, #mindless replica, #uninteresting stories

View Transcript

Transcript

A female coworker asks Dilbert, "Would it be okay if I asked your mindless replica for a date?" The coworker continues, "I'm full of uninteresting stories and I need a guy who's a good listener." The coworker and the Visibuddy are at dinner. The coworker says, "Now I'll describe the clothing of each person at the cat show." The Visibuddy hits himself in the head with a fork, "Thunk!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new sales manager, #pig boy, #makes inappropriate comments, #employment screening process, #inappropriate comments, #swear, #date one eyed carpenter

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting at her desk. The Boss approaches from behind and says, "Alice, meet our new sales manager." Alice stands up. The Pigboy enters and stands next to The Boss. The Boss says, "He's a Pigboy who makes inappropriate comments every five minutes." The Boss turns to the Pigboy and says, "Somehow he slipped through our rigorous employment screening process." The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Whoa! His five minutes are up." The Pigboy starts, "So Alice..." Blocking the rest of the Pigboy's comment is "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Boss is chuckling. Alice says, "That was very clever. Now let me try one." Alice's pushes The Boss out of the way and screams profanity at the Pigboy. Her comment is also blocked by, "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Pigboy's head has exploded. Visibly frazzled, The Boss turns to Alice and asks, "How did you learn to swear like that?" Alice responds, "I used to date a one-eyed carpenter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #total sociopath, #rifle through purse, #call me, #ring once, #robbed, #date, #hug, #robbery

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice and Ron are saying their goodbyes next to Ron's car. They're headed towards an embrace. Alice says, "You're a total sociopath, Ron. I like that in a man." As they're hugging, Ron's hand is in Alice's purse. She cries, "Oh yes, rifle through my purse! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Ron heads back to his car. Alice calls after him, "Call me?" Ron responds while counting the money he's just stolen from her, "Sure. But you'd better wait by the phone; I only ring once."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loser, #no girlfreind, #business traveler, #call, #check her story, #order food, #waitress, #hard time, #restaurant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits alone at a table in a restaurant. A waitress comes to take his order and he says, "I'm not a loser who can't get a date. I'm a business traveller." The waitress replies, "What's your girlfriend's name? I'll call her and check out your story." Dilbert, embarassed, looks down at his menu and says, "Maybe I should order." The waitress says, "Maybe you should."