Create A Missle Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

115 Results for Create A Missle

View 81 - 90 results for create a missle comic strips. Discover the best "Create A Missle" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethical to clone, #boss, #borrow cloner, #souls abomination, #souls irrelevant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks The Garbageman, "My boss asked me to clone him. Is that unethical?" The Garbageman replies, "You'll either create a soulless abomination or, if the clone is normal, you will have shown that souls are irrelevant." Dilbert asks, "What if the original is already a soulless abomination?" The Garbageman replies, "You can borrow my cloner. It's in the truck."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart consults, #create a strategy, #increase market share, #change, #valuable advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "It's easy to create a strategy." Dogbert continues, "Write down everything you do, preceded by the phrase, 'increase our market share by...'" The Boss asks, "What if we change what we do?" Dogbert responds, "Call me and I'll sell you some more valuable advice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no opinion, #spineless, #Opinion, #unnecessary pain, #cry in public

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman are sitting at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "You don't give your opinion on anything. Are you spineless?" Dilbert says, "Maybe you create an environment in which giving an opinion is an invitation to unnecessary pain." The woman exclaims to Dilbert, "Great! You're making me cry in public!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet start up, #business plan, #vc and b and b

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting at his desk, the Boss thinks to himself, "I should create my own little internet start-up." The Boss continues thinking, "All I need is a business plan." As the Boss approaches Carol's desk, Carol replies "The V.C. are sick of B to B." The Boss thinks to himself, "The Vietcong are sick of breakfast in bed?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #global communications, #de orbiting satellites, #swimming pools, #deadly flame balls, #speeding toward earth

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointing to a picture the Boss says, "We'll be shutting down our global comunications business and de-orbiting our satellites." Dilbert raises his hand and says to the Boss, "Question: Wouldn't that create dozens of deadly flame balls speeding toward earth?" The Boss replies, "That's why we're aiming for cities that have lots of swimming pools."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dna, #feed her, #human genome, #human simulations, #invented, #mapped and decoded, #market application, #on computer watch, #punish her, #samples, #software, #software simulation, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #queen bee, #marketing, #create a buzz, #free rope, #worthless engineer, #around neck, #over beam, #suicide, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Queen bee of Marketing" A large bee women wearing glasses sits on a thrown. She hands a piece of paper to a man and says, "See if you can create a buzzover this." The man says, "Yes, my queen." The queen reached out to Dilbert who carries a coil of rope and says, "Is that free rope? Give it to me, you worthless engineer!" The queen bee wraps the rope around her neck and says, "Look everyone! There's enough to go around my neck and over that beam!" Dilbert tiptoes away.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new software, #gently warm, #key board, #easier, #laptop lighter, #market driven, #create diversion

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss pionts to a projection of a steaming keyboard. The boss says, "OUr new software will gently warm your keyboard so the keys are easier to press." Dilber and Wally listen. The boss says, "We'll budnle it with our software that makes your laptop lighter." The boss says, "In a word, we have become "market driven"" Wally whispers, to Dilbert, "Creat a diversion. I'll run for help."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bill gates, #Dogbert, #incoming missles, #anti microsoft weapons, #press conference, #huge catapult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch next to Dilmom. Dilbert says, on the phone, "Dogbert, Mom told Bill Gates she uses the "Linux" operating system!" Dogbert stand at a large control panel which included a radar screen. Dogbert says, "I'm tracking four incoming missles. I'll launch our anti-miscrosoft weapons to intercept." Three reporters fly through the air towards a missle that has "MS" on its side. One of thre reporters says, "I wondered why a press conference was being held in a huge catapult."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #venture capitalists, #web based business, #lazy, #dishonest, #create, #accounting irregularities, #energy, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."