Cubicle Cop Comic Strips - Page 9
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546 Results for Cubicle Cop
View 81 - 90 results for cubicle cop comic strips. Discover the best "Cubicle Cop" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 06,
2010
Tags internet, toolbar, browser, download, cubicle, important, technology
Transcript
The Boss says, "Whenever my browswer asks me if I want to install a toolbar, I'm afraid to say no." The Boss says, "Now my browser window is only one inch tall." The Boss says, "If you see anything important on the Internet, could you write it down for me?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday May 14,
2010
Tags computer, engineer, worst user interface, click, sell social security number, overhead view of cubicle, technology, engineering
Transcript
Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."
Monday April 19,
2010
Tags question, cubicle, fix bugs, control management software, lie, truth, square dance, ignorance, pleaser
Transcript
The Boss says, "How long will it take to fix the bugs in our control management software?" Dilbert says, "Do you want a realistic estimate that will ruin your day, or a lie that will allow your ignorance and your happiness to lock arms and square dance to the next cubicle?" The Boss says, "That second option sounds festive." Dilbert says, "I'm a pleaser."
Thursday February 04,
2010
Tags security access, canceled, accident, mistake, scared, fugitive, nervous, invisible, teach, useless, hvac, breathing, cubicle, blend in, secuirty guard
Transcript
The Boss says, "My security access was accidentally canceled and now I'm a fugitive." The Boss says, "Can you teach me to be as useless as you are so I'm invisible for all practical purposes?" Guard says, "I hear breathing but it must be the HVAC system." Wally says, "Be the cubicle."
Thursday December 03,
2009
Tags avoidance, noise, concentration, presentation, laziness, excuses
Transcript
Wally says, "My cubicle is surrounded by loud idiots who make it impossible for me to concentrate on my work." The Boss says, "Did you create a presentation on why you couldn't do the presentation you're supposed to be doing?" Wally says, "Yes" The Boss says, "Wouldn't it have been just as easy to create the actual presentation?" Wally says, "I'm hoping to use this this one more than once."
Wednesday October 28,
2009
Tags desk, toys, decorations, removing, defending, stifling
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, remove the toys from your cubicle. It sends the wrong message." Alice says ,"You mean the message that says this company is a creative environment that values the individual?" The Boss says, "Exactly. We're going for more of an egg carton vibe."
Tuesday March 31,
2009
Tags new employee, annoying, frustrated, cruel
Transcript
The boss says, "I hired a woman who laughs too much." Woman says, "Ha ha ha ha ha!" The boss says, "She'll be in the cubicle next to yours." Woman says, "Wa-ha ha ha ha!" Dilbert says, "I no longer worry about life passing too quickly."
Sunday March 29,
2009
Tags firing, downsizing, ridicule, nervous, rude, mean
Transcript
The boss says, "Ted, I want to thank you for your 14 years of loyal service in this fabric-covered box." The boss says, "On a related note. The company has decided to right-size." The boss says, "And keeping you would be the wrong size." the boss says, "Clear out your debris in an hour so I can use your cubicle to store my old binders." Ted says, "Who will do my job?" the boss says, "no one." ted says, "So...for all practical purposes I am being replaced by a pile of old binders?" The boss says, "If it makes you feel better, the binders are useless. Everything is online now." Ted says, "So...I'm better than old binders?" The boss says, "Maybe this would be a good time to change the subject."
Thursday March 19,
2009
Tags walking, talking, complaining, Sports
Transcript
Dilbert says, "today I got in trouble for not doing something that I wasn't aware needed to be done." Dilbert says, "Yesterday I got in trouble for doing something that no one asked me to do, but needed to be done." Dilbert says, "Tomorrow I plan to sit in my cubicle like a frozen you-know-what and avoid all human contact." Dogbert says, "Does it rhyme with 'Bird'?"
Sunday January 25,
2009
Tags meeting, company, comparison, rudeness, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I want suggestions on how we can win one of those 'best places to work' awards." Dilbert says, "You could stop treating us like diseased livestock." The Boss says, "Stop being like that!" Dilbert says, "OW!" The Boss says, "If you were livestock, you'd be eating grass." Dilbert says, "My donut is made from wheat flour. What is a grass." The Boss says, "And you'd be living in a pen." Dilbert says, "Also known as a cubicle." The Boss says, "Livestock have no freedom." Dilbert says, "Can I go home now?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Moo."