Don't Use Prodcut Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Don't Use Prodcut

View 81 - 90 results for don't use prodcut comic strips. Discover the best "Don't Use Prodcut" comics from Dilbert.com.

Confident Wrong Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Confident Wrong Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #confidence, #employees, #insults, #obliviousness, #office workers, #sarcasm, #hire

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a guy who is always wrong, yet he is inexplicably confident. Alice: Why? We already have one of you. Boss: I don't know what you meant by that. But I am confident it is wrong.

Why Use Tests

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diseases, #health & safety, #medical, #office workers, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus, #diagnose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

Begging The Universe For Trouble

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Begging The Universe For Trouble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #hygiene, #karma, #pandemic, #virus, #hoax, #germs, #superstitious

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: If you keep saying the coronavirus is a hoax. You are practically begging the universe to infect you. CEO: Don't be so superstitious. That's not how anything works, you moron. Cough cough. Man: No, karma! Not me!

Ceo Says Coronavirus Is Hoax

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Says Coronavirus Is Hoax  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #sarcasm, #suspicion, #virus, #pandemic, #hoax

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The coronavirus is a hoax. It is no more dangerous than a common cold. Dilbert: It's almost as if you are inviting the universe to smite you. CEO: Don't jinx me! Dilbert: It's far too late.

Smartphones Spread Viruses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smartphones Spread Viruses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #hygiene, #science, #contagion, #pandemic, #smartphone, #germs

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Scientists say our smartphones can spread the coronavirus. That's why I no longer answer the phone. You never know if the caller is infected. Asok: I don't think... Dilbert: Let it go.

High Fives

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
High Fives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #hygiene, #life, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.

No Lunch With You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Lunch With You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diseases, #lunch, #office workers, #rejection, #virus, #pandemic, #invitation, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Would you like to join me for lunch? Woman: I don't even want to be in the same zip code as your diseased mouth. No offense. Dilbert: None taken.

Sciencesplainer Explains Science New

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sciencesplainer Explains Science   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sciencesplainer, #data, #report, #anecdotal, #controlled, #study, #accurate, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?

Version 2 Kills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #upgrade, #software, #technology, #version, #health, #issue, #nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

Noble Bad Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accurate, #bad, #business, #data, #heroic, #managers & supervisors, #noble, #war

View Transcript

Transcript

boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.