Ethics Questions Comic Strips - Page 9

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365 Results for Ethics Questions

View 81 - 90 results for ethics questions comic strips. Discover the best "Ethics Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Didn't Write It Down

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Wally Didn't Write It Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, project, excuse, procrastinate, delay

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Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.

Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar

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Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags politeness, conversation, etiquette, efficiency, illogical

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar. Today you will learn how to sacrifice your productivity and your happiness for the sake of ancient traditions grounded in total nonsense.Voice: Why would we want to do that? Dogbert: Please hold your impolite questions until never.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, speech, words, nonsense, training, trainee, strategy, laziness

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Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, communication, response, confusion, honesty, overshare

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Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.

Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium

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Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags science, discovery, trick, deception

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Dogbert: My particle accelerator has discovered a new fundamental particle that I call "Dogbertium." It's properties are awesomeness and mystery. One of the mysteries is that it only exists when people don't ask too many questions.

Managing Your Boss

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Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, accountability, blame, time, time management

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Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.

Dilbert Times His Nods

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Dilbert Times His Nods - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, candor, lying, deception, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business

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Client: Why does your engineer keep nodding? Dilbert: I don't like to lie, so I just nod while he times his lies to my nods. You were totally right about them hating candor.

Nod At Preset Intervals

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Nod At Preset Intervals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, lie, collusion, nonverbal communication, honest, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business

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Boss: You don't have to lie to customers, but at least nod your head when our salesperson lies. Dilbert: Can I not at preset intervals and let the salesperson time the lies to my nods? Salesman: I can work with that.

I Would Never Ask You To Lie

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I Would Never Ask You To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, lying, sales, ethics, business

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Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.

Robot High Five

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Robot High Five - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul, patience, frustration, artificial intelligence, technology, emotions, anger

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Boss: Did you notice any changes after Alice gave you an artificial soul? Robot: I'm less tolerant of idiots asking me questions. Boss: High five. Robot: What is wrong with you people???