Exposing Rat Marketing Plan Comic Strips - Page 9

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822 Results for Exposing Rat Marketing Plan

View 81 - 90 results for exposing rat marketing plan comic strips. Discover the best "Exposing Rat Marketing Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Alice Gives Honest Opinion

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Alice Gives Honest Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honest opinion, #monkey vomit, #rescind, #request

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The Boss: Alice, I want your honest opinion on my plan. Don't hold back. Alice: Your plan looks like a monkey vomited on a dictionary. The Boss: I remind my request for honesty,. Alice: Your plan is terrific!

User Specifications Are Not Complete

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User Specifications Are Not Complete  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user specifications, #apps, #build app, #no hope, #fantasize

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Dilbert: are these user specifications complete? Ted: No, I plan to add requirements as you build the app until you have no hope of success and you fantasize about strangling me. Dilbert: Do you know what isn't as refreshing as you'd hope? Dogbert: Honesty?

Success Diminishes Other Guy

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Success Diminishes Other Guy   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #diminshed, #support, #stab me, #great deas, #discussion, #argument

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Ted: Your idea is great, but I plan to oppose it because I feel diminished by the success of others. Dilbert: Maybe you could support it now and then stab me in the back later. Ted: That's two great ideas you've had today. Dilbert: thank you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #condescention, #disagreement, #criticism, #snark, #body language, #argument

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Dilbert: Are there any questions? Man: Your plan is so dumb that I am forced to make my condescending face to respond. You are so dumb! Dilbert: Did you have a reason? Man: Do I have a reason? Hahaha! That's precious. There are so many reasons that I don't know where to start! Dilbert: Just pick one. Man: Haha! Easy. You will never get funded. Dilbert: It's already fully funded. What else do you have? Man: To be honest, all I had was the funding issues and this face.

Explaining Block Chain To Marketing

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Explaining Block Chain To Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #explanation, #teaching, #language, #education

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Alice: This would be a perfect application for blockchain. Man: I'm in marketing. Can you explain that in terms I can understand? Alice: I kinda doubt it. Man: Because your a bad explainer, right?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #memory, #notes, #forgetting, #reminder, #forgetfulness

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Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?

Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating

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Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiating, #catch-22, #conference, #training

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Dilbert: I need your approval to take a class on negotiating. Boss: See if you can persuade me to approve it. Dilbert: I... don't know how to negotiate yet. Boss: That's the flaw in your plan.

Fix It With Marketing

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Fix It With Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business

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Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.

Tina Should Hope For The Best

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Tina Should Hope For The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaints, #human resources, #results, #transparency, #business

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Tina: Have you done anything to address my complaints about management? Catbert: I can't tell you about any confidential conversations I have with management. Tina: So... should I just hope for the best? Catbert: That sounds like a solid plan.

Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam

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Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #body cam, #surveillance

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Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...