Financial Contract Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

148 Results for Financial Contract

View 81 - 90 results for financial contract comic strips. Discover the best "Financial Contract" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #contract signed, #price set, #hurt to ask, #time machine, #feel stupid, #hurts to ask

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: as the vendor to take 20% off the price. Dilbert: Now??? You already signed the contract, The price is set in stone. The Boss: It doesn't hurt to ask. Dilbert: It doesn't? SO...although we just signed the contract, would you please lower the price 20% Ha Ha Ha!!! Geta time machine you bumpkin!!! DIlbertL GAAA!! I feel stupid and filled with self loathing....futiloty tugs at my should,,,,my guts are clenched! Good. Ask Id they'll go for 19% DIlbert: It hurts to ask!!!

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exclusive cable contarct, #monkey, #monkeys version, #procurement manager, #rope as electric, #rope vendor, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide and says, "My technology test was a huge failure because I had to use a rope as my electronic cable." Dilbert continues, "Our procurement manager is a monkey who signed an exclusive cable contract with a rope vendor." The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'd rather not take sides until I hear the monkey's version."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #procurement, #special cable, #rope, #exclusive contract, #rope distributer, #monkey, #cheaper, #desk, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Procurement. Dilbert says to a monkey, "I need to order a special cable for my computer." The monkey holds up a rope and says, "Ooh hoo hoo hoo!" Dilbert responds, "No. That's a piece of rope. Yes, I know it's cheaper." Dilbert continues, "Well, maybe it was a mistake to sign an exclusive contract with a rope distributor." The monkey crosses its arms and replies, "Ooh hoo hoo jerk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #on time, #hourly fee, #specified, #wag

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dogbert, "Wow! You finished the project below your estimate and on time." Dogbert holds on to his tail and thinks, "Hold..Hold..." The Boss continues, "All I need are a few changes at your hourly fee, which was never specified in our contract." Dogbert still holds his tail and thinks, "Hold... Hold... Hold..." Dogbert is standing on the table, wagging his tail profusely: "WAG!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #project, #huge hourly rate, #specified

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "I've reduced our development costs by outsourcing the project." Dilbert responds, "Does the proposal have a huge hourly rate for any work not specified in the contract?" The Boss replies, "Why do you ask?" Wally thinks, "Stay out of it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #winning bid contract, #read the minds, #competetors, #bid lower, #blocked by dense mass

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Dilbert, I want you to put together the winning bid for this contract." Dilbert responds, "No problem, I'll just read the minds of our competitors and bid lower." Dilbert continues, "I'm picking up something now... But it's partly blocked by a dense mass."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceos goal, #improve revenue, #fired, #contratcor, #cancelled my contract

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "Our CEO's goal is to improve our revenue per employee. So I'm going to fire you and bring you back as a contractor." The employee responds, "Last week his goal was to reduce the number of contractors. So you cancelled my contract and hired me as an employee." The Boss replies, "Well, it looks like someone doesn't like having his cheese moved." The employee looks at The Boss skeptically.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market expert, #core holding, #dead cat bounce, #secret economic model, #book sales, #financial markets

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #English, #imcomprehensible, #weseleze, #sign something, #lawyer, #miss deadline, #frat brother, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with the weasel nosed business associate. Dibert says, "Hey, we negotiated this deal in English but your contract is incomprehensible weaseleze!" The weasel covers his mouth sneakily. Dilbert continues, "My only choices are to sign something I don't understand or get my lawyer involved and miss my deadline!" Phil appears and puts his arm around the weasel. Dilbert says, "Ha! Now you're going to heck!" Phil responds, "Are you hassling my frat brother?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiated contract, #six weeks, #double delivery time, #devious weasel, #simply incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is reading a contract while meeting with a business associate. Dilbert says, "We've negotiated this contract for six weeks and today you double your delivery time?" Dilbert continues, "I can't tell if you're an incredibly devious weasel or simply incompetent." The business associate begins to pull on his own nose and says, "Here's a clue." The business associate pulls of his nose to reveal a weasel's nose underneath. It makes the sound, "poink."