First Pay Check Comic Strips - Page 9
943 Results for First Pay Check
View 81 - 90 results for first pay check comic strips. Discover the best "First Pay Check" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 24, 2017's comic on:
Tina: Wally, I need your input on my project plan. Wally: One moment, please. I have to check my spreadsheet to see which excuses I already used with you. Tina: I'll need a good one to get past my anger. Wally: Hmmm... maybe something dental.
Share July 21, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.
Share July 18, 2017's comic on:
Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.
Share June 22, 2017's comic on:
Dogbert: I've investigated Dilbert's email and phone records and I can say with confidence he did not collude with Elbonia. But there are many, many other crimes he might have committed, and you should pay me to investigate them. Dilbert: That wasn't helpful. Dogbert: Stop making it all about you.
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Share May 24, 2017's comic on:
Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.
Share May 23, 2017's comic on:
Randy: I am one of the first humans to have a microchip embedded in my brain. I'm so smart that you "normals" are like livestock to me now. Dilbert: We can't be that different. Randy: My chip translates everything you say to "moo."
Share May 22, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Randy is our first employee to have a computer chip embedded in his brain. Randy, please explain to these obsolete employees how awesome you are now. Randy: Wait... I'm updating my software. Alice: Should we kill him while he's vulnerable?
Share May 21, 2017's comic on:
Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.
Share May 11, 2017's comic on:
Robot: What kind of afterlife are we looking at here? Dilbert: Your meaningless existence will be punctuated by an eternity of darkness. Robot: Thanks for sparing my feelings! Dilbert: Sorry. I usually delete those first.