Free Time Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Free Time

View 81 - 90 results for free time comic strips. Discover the best "Free Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

Haircut On Company Times

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Haircut On Company Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hair, #haircut, #time, #break

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, do you have a minute? Wally: No. I have to get a haircut. Boss: You can't get a haircut on company time. Wally: I'm only cutting the hairs that grew on company time. Boss: How do you know which ones grew on company time? Wally: It's always hairs three and five.

Might Reorganize

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Might Reorganize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #responsibility, #work ethic, #reorganization, #merger, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you still considering a reorganization of the department? Boss: Maybe. Wally: Oh, good. I was worried I might be held accountable for my lack of accomplishments. Boss: I might be playing this wrong. Wally: Hey, everyone! We're free!

Feedback From Twitter Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Feedback From Twitter Guy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feedback, #criticism, #social media, #twitter, #tweet, #troll, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any feedback on my idea? Man: Yes. You're weak and stupid, and everyone you love will end up in jail. Dilbert: Do you spend a lot of time on Twitter? Man: Is that a lucky guess or are you spying on me?

Asking Successful People For Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

Boring And Needy Children

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #parents, #mother, #interview, #children, #annoyance, #work-life balance, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #aspirations, #relationships, #betterment, #warren buffett

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Warren Buffett says you should spent time with people who are better than you. Alice: Why would people who are better than me be dumb enough to spend time with me? Asok: Well... I assume you have to find people who are better than you, but not smart enough to avoid you. Because, obviously, you'd be bringing down the average of anyone who was better than you. Which reminds me, I need to cut this meeting short to keep my average up. Dilbert: Maybe we can continue the meeting without him. Alice: That would only be good for you. I need to find better people. Dilbert: The meeting went downhill from there. Dogbert: Can you wrap this up? You're bringing down my average.

Customers Work For Free

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Customers Work For Free - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #test, #big business, #money, #savings, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.

Deducing Rank

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deducing Rank - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #spying, #technology, #lying, #caught, #busted, #guilt, #proof

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Why didn't you answer my email? Boss: I didn't get it. Dilbert: My lie-detector app detected stress in your voice. I checked your email history on the server, and it confirms you opened my email. Boss: That could have been a hacker with my password. Dilbert: I'm checking the security camera footage for your office at that time. And there you are opening my email. Now will you admit you got my email? Boss: I'm seriously considering it.

Team Building Dance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Team Building Dance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team-building, #dance, #rules, #restrictions, #Fun

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This year's team-building event will be a dance. No alcohol will be served. The event is for employees only, and you're not allowed to touch each other. Have a great time. Dilbert: How?