Great Solutions Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

387 Results for Great Solutions

View 81 - 90 results for great solutions comic strips. Discover the best "Great Solutions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economist, #Promotion, #jargon, #babble, #deception, #smart people, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.

Dogbert The Product Designer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #form, #function, #product design, #product designer, #selfishness, #portfolio

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.

I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #authority, #convincing, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #launch deadline, #solutions, #unexpected problems, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you going to meet the launch deadline? Dilbert: No. There were unexpected problems. Boss: I need solutions, not unexpected problems! Did that mean anything? Dilbert: Almost. Good try.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #ceos, #cnbc, #executives, #home address, #layoffs, #new prodcuts, #product, #quarterly, #zero

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogies, #creativity, #haters, #ideas, #trapped ideas, #attract haters, #zombies to fish syicks, #analogy, #great ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My best ideas are trapped in my head. Whenever I voice my ideas, I attract haters like zombies to fish sticks. Wally: IS that analogy one of your great ideas? Dilbert: I don't like the way you asked that.

Zig Zag

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zig Zag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #insubordination, #leadership, #zigzag, #insanity, #fired

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to being a great leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert: Coincidentally, that is the same strategy used by the insane. CEO: I should fire you for your insubordination. Dilbert: Or you could zig.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #good leader, #willing, #disliked, #great leader, #litening, #expectations, #very unliked

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: A good leader has to be willing to be disliked. Dilbert: You must be a great leader. CEO: What do you mean by that? Dilbert: Sorry. I didn't expect you to be listening to me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #great team, #great results, #inexperienced intern, #useless guy, #corpse, #exoskeleton, #conflicts with plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Experts say you need a great team to get great results. We're going to prove them wrong because our team is an inexperienced intern, a useless guy, a corps in an exoskeleton and me. Wally: That conflicts with my plan to prove the experts right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad days, #decisons, #enviornment, #good days, #happiness, #in your mind, #perceptions, #ticked off, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I had a great day yesterday! Garbage Man: No you didn't. Good and bad days are only in your mind. The environment is largely the same as the day before. Dilbert: You're ticking me off. Garbage Man: Or am I?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #optimism, #workday, #negativity, #perfect day, #self control, #underestimated, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I had a great day at work for the first time ever! Don't ruin this day for me. I don't want to hear one word of negativity out of you. None. I want this to be a perfect day. Dogbert: Once again you have grossly underestimated my self-control.