Half Huge Raises Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

475 Results for Half Huge Raises

View 81 - 90 results for half huge raises comic strips. Discover the best "Half Huge Raises" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excitement, #interviews, #wages, #interview, #less money, #worse job, #imagined better, #hald day, #next useless interview, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attend meeting, #request, #busy, #meet halfway, #not showing up, #half of life

View Transcript

Transcript

wally, can you attend my meeting friday? wally: Im very busy, but I'll meet you half way, what does that mean in this context? wally: they say half of life is just showing up. so...you will be .... wally: Doing the other half.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bart simpson, #app, #facial recognition, #full bio, #dry erase marker

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hi my name is... woman: Dont bother My app does facial recognition and searches all social media to give me your full biography. Dilbert: hows that working out? You're either Bart Simpson or a huge dry erase marker.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #role model, #angry, #sociopath, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You're doing a great job as a role model." Dogbert says, "Half of your employees have already turned into pudgy sociopaths." Dogbert says, "And they're quick to anger."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee, #human resources, #Promotion, #raise, #facebook; social networks, #excited, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "For the past six months you've done nothing but update your Facebook page." Catbert says, "Now we have an opening for a marketing manager for social networks and you're totally qualified. It's a huge raise and promotion." Man says, "Crime pays! I knew it!!!" Catbert says, "We're hoping you can lie as well as you steal."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil, #cat, #director of human resources, #sales bonus, #raise target, #boss, #laugh, #point, #bend over, #tail, #annoyed, #support, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says, "Then buy a cane and talk to the tail! Ooogah!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hunting trip, #elk, #skeptical, #missing, #story, #saddle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "My hunting trip was a huge success. I bagged an elk." Carol says, "Hmmm?" Carol says, "That's not like you. There's something missing in this story." The Boss says, "It had a saddle." Carol says, "And there it is."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #meeting, #big mouth, #open, #stupid, #product, #guess, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public relations, #statue of liberty, #destroy, #new york harbor, #weapon demo, #remorse, #fake, #glasses, #fake tears, #water, #flood

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "The public won't forgive you until you fake some remorse." Dogbert says, "These glasses have a hose that leads to a pumping station and a huge reservoir of fake tears." CEO says, "If we have another press conference, we should crack open a window."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #raise, #face front, #budget, #better than nothing, #annoyed, #yell, #mouth open, #close eyes, #shake fist, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"