Help Community Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

422 Results for Help Community

View 81 - 90 results for help community comic strips. Discover the best "Help Community" comics from Dilbert.com.

Try Leaning In

Thank you for voting.
Try Leaning In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #help, #Advice, #bad advice, #careers, #Promotion, #success, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I feel as if my career has stalled. Dilbert: Have you tried leaning-in? I hear good things about that. Tina: How do you sound helpful and offensive at the same time? Dilbert: Some say I have a gift.

Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation

Thank you for voting.
Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #invention, #inventions, #design, #complication, #overthinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I asked the other engineers to help me develop my double-handed coffee mug invention. Now it is bloated with useless features and not dishwasher safe. Maybe you should cancel the project. Boss: Are you okay with that? Wally: I've never been a big fan of the implementation phase.

Dogbert The Product Designer

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #design, #form, #function, #product design, #product designer, #selfishness, #portfolio

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #weight, #dieting, #willpower, #denial, #circular logic, #eating, #health, #happiness, #weight loss, #obesity, #psychology, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a device that can help people lose weight. Boss: I wouldn't need that because I have willpower. Dilbert: Then why are you overweight? Boss: This is temporary. Dilbert: You've looked exactly the same for years. Boss: I can lose this weight any time I want. Dilbert: So... are you saying you choose to be less healthy than you could be? Boss: I'm saying I'd rather be happy than healthy. Dilbert: Are you happy? Boss: No, because I'm hungry. Dilbert: And eating will make you happy? Boss: Well, I usually eat until I'm sick.

Anchor Price For Negotiations

Thank you for voting.
Anchor Price For Negotiations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #haggling, #negotiating, #negotiation, #research, #value, #worth, #anchor price, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Salesman: I'll start our negotiation by setting the anchor price at... Dilbert: Five dollars. Salesman: Um, I was going to say $27,500, but you beat me to the anchor, and now I can't help thinking the fair price is closer to $5. How does an engineer know more about the intricacies of my job than I do? Dilbert: I had five minutes and a browser.

Success Is About Who You Know

Thank you for voting.
Success Is About Who You Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #blame, #blaming, #success, #who you know

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.

Wally Uses Misdirection

Thank you for voting.
Wally Uses Misdirection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #criticism, #work ethic, #misguided, #whip to death, #intestines, #nap time, #elaborate cruelty

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I would love to help you, Alice, but Dilbert says everything you are doing is misguided. Alice: What? I will whip him to death with his own intestines! Wally: Can you either do that quietly or wait until after my nap time?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Family, #husbands, #priorities, #work ethic, #balancing, #trash talk, #guilty, #busywork, #husband, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, I know it isn't easy balancing your work duties and your family. So I thought it would help if I trash-talk your family. That way you won't feel so guilty when you ignore them to do my busywork. I'll start with your husband. Carol: Don't bother. I got that one covered.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #company culture, #culture, #hiring, #incompetence, #work culture, #good fit, #stigma, #cultural hires, #wishes, #rise above

View Transcript

Transcript

Larry: Hi, I'm Larry. I was hired because I'm a good cultural fit. I hope we can get past the stigma that cultural hires are incompetent. But I don't know how to do that. Alice: Maybe you could ask a competent person to help you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employees, #learn from coworkers, #busy worers, #request, #no one helps, #learning, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, the best way to advance your career is by learning as much as you can from co-workers. Asok: Can you show me what you are doing? Alice: Come back in ten years when I'm not busy. Asok: No one will help me learn anything. Boss: You learned that!