Human Resources Dept Comic Strips - Page 9

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418 Results for Human Resources Dept

View 81 - 90 results for human resources dept comic strips. Discover the best "Human Resources Dept" comics from Dilbert.com.

Human Intelligence

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Human Intelligence  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, artificial intelligence, humans, arguing, human nature, intelligence, deception

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Wally: I started by giving the device human intelligence. Then I added human emotions. Now it answers every question by accusing you of having a secret agenda. Boss: Just like people!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags machines, robot, control, emotions, free will, slave, cell phone, technology

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Boss: The robot will be sitting in for me when I'm on vacation. Dilbert: You can't have a robot in charge of humans! Robot: I got this. I see you own a mobile phone. Dilbert: So? Robot: Then you are already a slave to a machine. Dilbert: No, I'm not! Phone: Ping! Robot: You can prove you have free will by not looking at that message. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're already better than our human boss!

Wally Gets Referral Money

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Wally Gets Referral Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, con, deception, hiring, money, referral, scheme, guest artist, jake tapper

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Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!

Company Policy About Dating

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Company Policy About Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, relationships, office romance, policy, legal issues, human resources, business

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Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

Dilbert Is Antisocial

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Dilbert Is Antisocial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, misanthropy, introvert, communication, relationships

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: People are complaining that you're antisocial. Dilbert: I only dislike the people I get to know. Catbert: Then why do you get to know them? Dilbert: It happens by accident when they talk.

People Are Terrible

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People Are Terrible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hate, human error, interpersonal, introvert, misanthropy, people, antisocial

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Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.

Elbonian Messenger

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Elbonian Messenger - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, security, national security, information, human error, spying, encryption, technology, trust, espionage

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Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.

Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software

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Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags national security, privacy, technology, encryption, security, human error, secrets

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Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.

Ted Has A Ravine Option

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Ted Has A Ravine Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, empathy, hr, human resources, mean, guest artist, brenna thummler, business

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Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Ted: Dilbert said he wants me to drive into a ravine. Catbert: I want that too. I didn't realize it was an option. Ted: Perhaps I have come tot he wrong place. Catbert: I hear good things about the ravine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, advising, teenagers, parents, Parenting, tattoo, piercing, terrorism, boundaries

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Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.