Ignoring Certain People Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Ignoring Certain People

View 81 - 90 results for ignoring certain people comic strips. Discover the best "Ignoring Certain People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Manufacturing In Elbonia

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Manufacturing In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, out source, elbonia, money, government, reputation

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boss: we're moving our manufacturing operations to elbonia to save money. dilbert: are you worried about elbonian government's reputation? boss: nah. i try to stay out of the weeds. dilbert: they're building concentration camps and rounding up dissenters. they intenionally poisoned a hundred thousand people in this country. they are habitual stealers of intellectual property, and they routinely ignore agreements they have signed. and they have a well-known goal of weakening other countries so they can dominate the world. boss: why can you just admit i'm saving money?

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The Best Way To Succeed

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The Best Way To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, success, delegate

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boss: the best way to succeed in this world is through hard work dilbert: is that the way you did it? boss: no, i used the second-best way dilbert: which is... boss: making other people work hard

We Already Have A Carl

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We Already Have A Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, interview, skills, confuse, employee, names

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boss: i can't hire you because we already have an employee named carl. it would confuse people, and we don't need that. interviewee: what about my skills? boss: people with better names have skills too.

Need To Retrain

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Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, office, retrain, proposal, employees, risk, cost, work

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boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Cause Of Unhappiness

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Cause Of Unhappiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, happiness, office workers, research, sarcasm

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Dilbert: I did a study of what makes people unhappy. It turns out that the primary cause of unhappiness is "other people". Alice: That's dumb. Dilbert: Said the other person.

No One Is Taking Advice

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No One Is Taking Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, confidence, employees, jobs, office workers, youth

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Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.

New Cubicles

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New Cubicles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cubicle

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boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.

More People Working At Home

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More People Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, office, office workers

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Boss: The office is too quiet today. Carol: That's because more people are working from home. Boss: How can I do my job if I can't pop into people's cubicles and share my wisdom? Second question: why is everything running so smoothly lately?

Finding A Scapegoat

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Finding A Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, project, ceo, scapegaot, climate change

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the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.

Layoff Package

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Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, fire, office, office workers, buyout

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.