Ignoring Certain People Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Ignoring Certain People

View 81 - 90 results for ignoring certain people comic strips. Discover the best "Ignoring Certain People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2018's comic on:

Tags #manipulation, #fear, #tactic, #ignorance, #jargon, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I need help persuading your boss to bless my project. Should I use facts and logic? Dilbert: No, he hates that stuff. Woman: Maybe I could appeal to his better angels? Dilbert: His better angels wear noise-canceling headphones. Woman: Okay, fine. I'll just appeal to his self-interest. Dilbert: It would be in his best interest to avoid people like you. Woman: What do you suggest? Dilbert: We've had good outcomes using his ignorance and fear. Woman: Sign this ore else a blockchain drone will kill you in your sleep. Boss: Where's my pen!

Bossercize

Thank you for voting.
Bossercize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2018's comic on:

Tags #exercise, #personal trainer, #fitness, #bossercise, #criticism, #managers, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.

Two People Named Tina

Thank you for voting.
Two People Named Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2018's comic on:

Tags #nickname, #name, #insult, #name-calling

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We have two people named Tina at this meeting. To avoid any confusion, I will be assigning them nicknames. Carol: Who did that to you? Boss: Big Tina.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2018's comic on:

Tags #intelligence, #aspirations, #relationships, #betterment, #warren buffett

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Warren Buffett says you should spent time with people who are better than you. Alice: Why would people who are better than me be dumb enough to spend time with me? Asok: Well... I assume you have to find people who are better than you, but not smart enough to avoid you. Because, obviously, you'd be bringing down the average of anyone who was better than you. Which reminds me, I need to cut this meeting short to keep my average up. Dilbert: Maybe we can continue the meeting without him. Alice: That would only be good for you. I need to find better people. Dilbert: The meeting went downhill from there. Dogbert: Can you wrap this up? You're bringing down my average.

Aggressive Littering

Thank you for voting.
Aggressive Littering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2018's comic on:

Tags #guilt, #plea, #charges, #littering, #murder, #rich people, #discrimination

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.

Dilbert Characters

Arresting The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Arresting The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2018's comic on:

Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.

Cryogenic Investment Firm

Thank you for voting.
Cryogenic Investment Firm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2018's comic on:

Tags #cryogenic, #intelligence, #rich people

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Firm. Dogbert: We'll freeze your brain for 200 years and then transplant it into a 3-D printed body. By then, your investments will be worth a fortune. Man: Is there any risk to my brain? Dogbert: You'll have an IQ of 45, but that doesn't matter when you're rich.

Exactly What Guilty People Say

Thank you for voting.
Exactly What Guilty People Say - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2018's comic on:

Tags #conspiracy, #accusation, #guilt, #innocence, #logic, #rumor

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen... Carol: Alice says you deleted her files on the server. Dilbert: That didn't happen. She's nuts. Carol: Ha! You wouldn't be so angry if it weren't true. Dilbert: What? That doesn't even make sense. Carol: That's exactly what guilty people say. Narrator: Continued...

Value Of An Employee's Life

Thank you for voting.
Value Of An Employee's Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2018's comic on:

Tags #big business, #ethics, #morals, #morality, #death, #damage, #value, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The proposed system would reduce accidental employee deaths by 20 percent. CEO: What is the ratio of the value of an employee's life compared to real people? Dilbert: I find your question disturbing. CEO: Just tell me the answer, halfling!

Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality

Thank you for voting.
Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Advice, #competition, #bad advice, #deception, #wedgie

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.