Keep A Journal Comic Strips - Page 9

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363 Results for Keep A Journal

View 81 - 90 results for keep a journal comic strips. Discover the best "Keep A Journal" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tell Me About Being A Foodie

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Tell Me About Being A Foodie  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #boring, #boredom, #bored, #invention, #conversation, #stimulation, #stimulating

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Dilbert: I invented a brain stimulator to keep my brain from atrophying during boring conversations. Tell me something about your hobbies so I can test it. Tina: Well, I'm a foodie. Dilbert: Do you like cheese? It's working!

Dilbert Writes A Sci Fi Novel

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Dilbert Writes A Sci Fi Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dreams, #aspirations, #science fiction, #writer, #writing, #novelist, #naked, #nudity

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Dilbert: I've always wanted to write a sci-fi novel. Even though I have no relevant training or experience. Should I follow my dreams? Dogbert: Yes, but keep in mind that the naked dreams are only suggestions.

Working Sixty Hours A Week

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Working Sixty Hours A Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #hours, #workload, #interpretation, #negativity

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Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #tagline, #marketing, #advertising, #ad, #ads, #impossible, #business

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Boss: We need a tagline for our new product. It should be no more than three words. It should convey an emotion. And it should clearly explain everything the product does. Dilbert: In three words? Boss :I didn't say it would be easy. Nike accomplished all of that with "Just do it." Dilbert: Did they? Because that seems like a generic thing you can say in any situation. Boss: Just do it! Alice: How about "Keep doing it?" Is that one taken?

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #joke, #jokes, #joking, #assume, #assumptions, #offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

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Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Promotion, #saving face, #executives, #bad advice, #bad ideas, #mentor, #mentoring

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CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?

The One Out Of Ten Guy

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The One Out Of Ten Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #bad logic, #knowledge, #logic, #statistics, #studies, #problem, #department

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Coworker: You know how studies always say one out of ten people have a particular problem. I'm always that guy. Statistically speaking, I keep nine people safe just by existing. Dilbert: That's not how statistics work. Coworker: And... everyone else in the department knows that?

Boss Uses Hickory Wand

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Boss Uses Hickory Wand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #harry potter, #magic, #wand, #wizard, #leadership, #hickory branch

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Boss: I keep saying leader-ish things, but the employees are still terrible. Catbert: Try using this hickory branch as a wand. Boss: Qualitos improvimentus! Wally: I'll be on the Harry Potter.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #coaching, #deception, #laziness, #mentor, #mentoring, #strategy, #work ethic, #taper, #key to winning, #new job, #long hours, #good first impression, #taker off, #working smarter

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Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #engineers, #project inherited, #weak code, #rewrite, #great job, #hired idiot

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Dilbert: The project I inherited has weak code. I need to rewrite it from scratch. Boss: Will there ever be an engineer who says, "That last guy did a great job. Let's keep all of it?" Dilbert: I'm hoping the idiot you hire to replace me says that.