Kill Him Comic Strips - Page 9

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178 Results for Kill Him

View 81 - 90 results for kill him comic strips. Discover the best "Kill Him" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #newspaper, #scared, #praying, #stock broker, #sitting, #computer, #reading, #smiling, #technology, #Entertainment

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Carol says, "Your stockbroker is in the news today." The boss says, "Uh-oh." The boss says, "Please be because he won a humanitarian award?or he was killed by a celebrity." Carol says, "Ironically, several celebrity humanitarians do want to kill him now." The boss says, "Gaaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #evil, #murder, #refusal, #reprimand

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "your boss says you refuse to do your job." Dilbert says, "he told me to kill a customer, assume her identity, and place a huge order with the company." Catbert says, "I'll transfer your to the collections department until you're willing to kill."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sales, #economy, #ridiculous, #business

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Dilbert in sales Salesman says, "We had to be more creative because of the soft economy." Salesman says, "now we kill our customers and replace them with body doubles who place big orders." Customer says, "Who's the handsome new sales guy?" Salesman says, "He's you in about ten minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #order, #demand, #email, #internet, #annoyance, #technology

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The Boss says, "Carol, send an e-mail to the department with my leadership thought of the day." Carol says, "What is it?" The Boss says, "I'm busy. Make up something." 'That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So please slap me in my fat, bald head.'

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #cost estimates, #eyebrwo, #ghost, #recognize ghost, #helpful, #how to kill, #garlic and shopvac

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A man says, "Alice, when will I get your cost estimates?" Alice says, "When will your one eyebrow turn into two?" The man says, "Is that the ghost of the guy who used to have your job? He makes you look bad because he was always helpful." Alice says, "If you're so helpful, tell me how to kill you." The ghost says, "Dang... try garlic and a shop-vac."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #ghost, #popular employee, #better job, #spirit, #kill with kindness, #compariosn, #attacks ghost

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A ghost says, "Hello, Alice. I'm the ghost of the popular employee who once did your function." The ghost says, "My body has gone to a better job, but my spirit remains to remind everyone how mean you are in comparison." The ghost says, "Nice try, but you can only kill me with kindness." Alice says, "Gaaa! Gaaa! Gaaa!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting with boss, #vendors, #customers, #please kill me

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The Boss says, "Asok, you never mentioned any issues this quarter, so I assume you didn't do any work." A man says, "Ooooh, lordy lord! Our vendors are incompetent and our customers are suing us!!!" The Boss says, "Why can't you be more like that guy?" A man says, "Someone please kill me!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #scary guy, #electric cubicle, #scare off .coworkers, #keith richards effigy

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Dogbert's Electric Cubical Walls Asok: I have a leaner. I want to stun him but not kill him. Dogbert: I recommend our Keith Richards model. Asok: Maybe I should dial it back a little."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #co worker, #tired, #dead, #died, #afterlife, #zombie, #alive again, #pictures in heaven, #eyes closed

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Topper Dilbert: I didn't get much sleep last night. Ted: That's nothing. I haven't slept in a month. Dilbert: Wouldn't that kill you? Ted: It did, but that's nothing. I spent a week in the afterlife, then I returned to this world as a zombie. I taught myself homeopathy and discovered a cure for zombies. Now I'm alive again. Please be done...Please be done...Please be done... I took pictures of heaven. Alice: Gaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceos son, #joining dept., #intern, #mentor, #little spy, #tell hi dad, #list of compliments, #go somewhere, #three questions, #desk, #kill him

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The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."