Labor Saving Software Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

366 Results for Labor Saving Software

View 81 - 90 results for labor saving software comic strips. Discover the best "Labor Saving Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, mistake, boss, review, human resources, revenge, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Boss Buys Software Without Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Buys Software Without Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad advice, Advice, sales, lying, deception, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I bought new software for our network. Dilbert: Who helped you on the technical side? Boss: The vendor. He said our current software uses the wrong kind of electricity.

Wally And Agile Programming

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And Agile Programming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, avoid, evasion, acrobatics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, learning, education, tutorial, frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags goals, accomplishment, consciousness, death, achievement, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags election, voting, technology, fraud, cheating, vote, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?

Elbonians Steal Encryption Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonians Steal Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags encryption, technology, national security, privacy, terrorism, terrorist

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian 1: I stole the enemy's encryption-breaking software. Elbonian 2: My phone doesn't have a hole for this. I think it needs an adapter or something. Elbonian 1: Is it time to admit we're in over our heads? Elbonian 2: Why are the heathens so good at this stuff?

Elbonian Messenger

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Messenger - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, security, national security, information, human error, spying, encryption, technology, trust, espionage

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.

Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags national security, privacy, technology, encryption, security, human error, secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.

For The Good Of The Country

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
For The Good Of The Country - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apple, iphone, technology, national security, privacy, terrorism, encryption

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.