Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 9
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434 Results for Long Nose
View 81 - 90 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 02,
2016
The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura
Tags horoscope, Astrology, prediction, fortune, nonsense
Transcript
Carol: Ooh. Bad news on your horoscope today. Your moon is intersecting with the feng shui of your aura. Boss: How long do I have? Carol: You'll be dead by noon. Boss: I meant until my next meeting.
Thursday February 11,
2016
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`
Tags posture, mascot, success, hunchback, work ethic, reward
Transcript
CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.
Thursday January 07,
2016
Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong
Tags idea, reality, accuracy, creative accounting, numbers, math, error, excel, spreadsheet, education
Transcript
Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.
Sunday December 06,
2015
Tags logic, reasoning, managing, managers, leadership, quality, absurd
Transcript
Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.
Wednesday August 26,
2015
Boss Survives Fall From Bridge
Tuesday August 25,
2015
Boss Falls Off Bridge
Tags walking, meeting, meetings, accident, difficult, gimmick, manager, idea, ideas, distraction, Sports, business
Transcript
Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.
Sunday August 09,
2015
Tags employee, Advice, health, wellness, money, cost, work ethic, fatigue, Family, marriage, support, insult, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.
Monday August 03,
2015
Working Sixty Hours A Week
Tags work ethic, hours, workload, interpretation, negativity
Transcript
Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.
Wednesday May 20,
2015
In The Long Run We Are All Dead
Tags work, work ethic, existentialism, suffering, death, philosophy, pessimism, Advice, medical
Transcript
Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.
Monday March 16,
2015
Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail
Tags Promotion, saving face, executives, bad advice, bad ideas, mentor, mentoring
Transcript
CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?

