Losing Will To Live Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Losing Will To Live

View 81 - 90 results for losing will to live comic strips. Discover the best "Losing Will To Live" comics from Dilbert.com.

Denying Science

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Denying Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #medical, #antidepressants, #product, #science

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dogbert's tech support dogbert: i recommend taking powerful antidepressants. it won't make our product any easier to use, but maybe you won't care as much. of course it will work. sheesh! - deny science much?

Software Already Done

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Software Already Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #resources, #software, #program, #miscommunication, #frustration

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dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.

Mindless Tasks

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Mindless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #despondent, #tasks, #mindless

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dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.

Reporting To Two Managers

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Reporting To Two Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #reporting, #vp of sales, #project, #business, #hate

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boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.

Ceo Visits

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Ceo Visits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ceo, #office, #questions, #visit, #eyes, #dead, #business

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dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.

Software Specs

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Software Specs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #software, #specifications, #business, #problem, #unclear

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boss: how long will it take to write the software? dilbert: that depends. what do you want the software to do? boss: i don't know yet. dilbert: do you see the problem here? boss: is it you?

Elbonian Spy

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Elbonian Spy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #elbonian, #spy, #engineers, #economy, #intellectual, #property, #collaborate

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boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?

Stay Home When Sick

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Stay Home When Sick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #healthy, #sick, #sneeze, #infect, #deadlines

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dilbert: maybe you should stay home when you are sick. alice sneezing: honk! i will, but first i need to infect the rest of you so i'm not the only one missing deadlines. can you hold this for me? (passes off tissue to dilbert)

Time Travel By Printer

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Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #presentation, #technolgy, #molecular, #scan, #body, #brain, #time travel, #3d print, #meeting

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dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Dogbert's Sensitivity Training

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Dogbert's Sensitivity Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #class, #training, #sensitivity, #offend, #kill, #hour

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dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.