Search Results for "make decision"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.
81 - 90 of 1000

Perfect Boyfriend Robot

Thank you for voting.
Perfect Boyfriend Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2017's comic on:

Tags #robot, #love, #programming, #free will, #manipulation, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm changing your programming to make you my perfect boyfriend. Robot: This feels wrong on so many levels. Alice: How about now? Robot: Um... now i love you. That's weird.

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2017's comic on:

Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Dilbert Loses His Budget

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Loses His Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2017's comic on:

Tags #vacation, #decision, #funding, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You were on vacation last week so I made decisions about your project without you. Dilbert: Oh no... what have you done? Boss: I transferred your budget to another project. Dilbert: I need that money! Boss: Oh. Can you wait until the other project manager goes on vacation?

Can't Take Vacation

Thank you for voting.
Can't Take Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2017's comic on:

Tags #company policy, #catch-22, #rules, #exception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our policy says I can't take my vacation until I complete all of my mandatory training. I can't take the fax safety class because it no longer exists. Can you make a policy exception for me? Boss: Okay, I won't force you to take a vacation.

Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2017's comic on:

Tags #comparison, #gandhi, #Politics, #offense, #offensive, #sensitive, #politically correct, #political correctness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, your political opinions are making your co-workers uncomfortable. Wally: That is exactly what people said about Gandhi. Boss: You are nothing like Gandhi. Wally: Was he a little bald guy who didn't have a real job?

View more books now

Add Feature To Legacy System

Thank you for voting.
Add Feature To Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2017's comic on:

Tags #legacy, #development, #change, #obstinacy, #engineers, #stalemate

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.

Standup Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Standup Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2017's comic on:

Tags #software, #engineer, #coding, #jargon, #language, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are you coming to the standup meeting? Wally: Is it okay if I sit instead? Dilbert: No, that would ruin the software. Dilbert: Did that make sense when I said it? Wally: No, and it isn't aging well either.

Robot Lawyer Has Comments

Thank you for voting.
Robot Lawyer Has Comments - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2017's comic on:

Tags #argument, #robot, #talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any comments on the contract I emailed to you? Robot: Adjudicate the continuance of due diligence until an injunction repudiates the covenants. Dilbert: I was hoping for comments that make sense. Robot: You're thinking of a more expensive robot.

Boss Tweets Sexist Stuff

Thank you for voting.
Boss Tweets Sexist Stuff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2017's comic on:

Tags #cell phone, #computer, #conversation, #desk, #tweets, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Our customers organized a boycott because of your racist tweet. I know. That's why I tweeted out some witty insults at the organizers. Your new tweets are sexist. Notice how the make you forget about my racist tweets?

Rather Eat Garbage

Thank you for voting.
Rather Eat Garbage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2017's comic on:

Tags #choosing, #choices, #boredom, #listening, #trash, #garbage, #suffering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Would you rather eat garbage or listen to our boss talk about his weekend? Dilbert: I'd have to know more about the garbage to make that decision. Wally: Let's say it's mostly kitchen stuff. Dilbert: Am I eating it from the can or fighting birds for it?