Many Forms Genius Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

333 Results for Many Forms Genius

View 81 - 90 results for many forms genius comic strips. Discover the best "Many Forms Genius" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #close friends, #facebook, #fix problem, #friends, #liked, #posts, #seven friends, #therapy, #shrink, #popularity, #social media, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: No one "likes" my Facebook posts. woman: How many Facebook friends do you have? Dilbert: Seven. Woman: Are they close friends? Dilbert: How do you define close? Woman: Have you here invited any of these people to your house? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Woman: I can't fix your problem. SO instead , I'll plant some false memories and try to fox those later. Do you remember being a robot that was designed by alines? Dilbert: No. woman: are you sure? Dilbert: I was.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #obstinacy, #studies show, #offering customers, #problem, #prevent success, #many otions, #hinderance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies show that offering customers too many options can prevent them from buying. Boss: Studies?? That doesn't sound like a real thing. Dilbert: I don't know what to do now. Boss: Maybe that's the problem.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #thinking, #objection to plan, #potential problems, #works fine, #system used, #non zero chance, #get rid of hospitals, #idiot, #normal life

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Does anyone have an objection to this plan? Coworker: In my opinion, there are too many potential problems. Dilbert: This system has been used for years in other places and works fine. Coworker: There is still a non-zero chance of problems. Dilbert: By that logic, we should get rid of hospitals because sometimes they make mistakes. Coworker: Gaaa!!! I just realized I'm an idiot! Dilbert: You can still lead a normal life. Wally: It only stings for a minute.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #balanced, #hiding in plain sight, #life balance, #rewarding work, #so genius, #work ethic, #secret to rewarding life, #learning secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The secret to having a rewarding work-life balance is to have no life. Then it's easy to keep things balanced by doing no work. Asok: So simple, and yet, so genius. Wally: It was hiding in plain sight.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bossify, #deception, #fund ideas, #genius, #ideas, #customer support, #software, #budget approval, #delay projects, #low priority, #wise, #funding, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You had a great idea bout upgrading our customer support software. Boss: I don't remember having that idea. Dilbert: It was genius. Boss: Well, that does sound like something I would suggest. Dilbert: We'll need budget approval, but that should be no problem for you. Boss: Duh. Obviously I'll fund my idea. It's genius. Dilbert: I'll need to delay my other project, but, as you said, those are lower priorities. Boss: I said that? Dilbert: It was very wise of you. Alice: How did you get funding for your idea? Dilbert: I had to bossify it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #computer programmers, #code, #writing code, #conspiracy theories

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'd like to recognize Ted for writing his part of the code in just two days. Dilbert: How many days was it supposed to take? Boss: At least a week, I would think. Dilbert: Why would you think that? Boss: Because it was so hard to do. Dilbert: Who told you it was hard? Boss: Ted did. Dilbert: All he did was delete some lines from existing code and recompile it. Ted: It was hard. Boss: See! Wally: Do you have any more crazy conspiracy theories?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #mad scientists, #marketing dept, #mice, #one evil genius, #pathways, #rewire, #ontogenetic technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We replaced our entire marketing department with one evil genius. Evil Genius: My optogenic* technology can re-wire the neural pathways of our customers and change their preferences. You like gray. Asok: I like to be gay. *Already works on mice.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #product changes, #change orders, #new features, #online change order system, #old forms, #change order, #managemet, #better plan, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Don't make any product changes without change orders. When users ask for new features, direct them to the online change order system. Dilbert: That system only has the old forms. Boss: Tell someone to put the new ones on there. Wally: That would require a change order. Dilbert: Maybe we could tell users our sense of hope was killed by something called management. The we could sort of slump over like we're waiting for death's cold embrace. Boss: I'll get back to you if I think of a better plan.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #money, #bertcoins, #digital currency, #anonymous genous, #mail, #attachment, #pirates

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: I'm moning for bertcoins. It's a digital currency created by an anonymous genius. Hey, I'm getting an email from a Somali fellow who wants me to open an attachment. What happened to all of my bertcoins? Bob: Digital Somali pirates!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #new procurement policy, #p.o.o.p., #thinking, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It took us three days at the executive retreat to come up with a name for our new procurement policy. We named it the "Procurement Operations Oversight Policy." Dilbert: P.O.O.P.? Boss: Do you know how many managers it takes to come up with a good name? Dilbert: A few more than you had?