Market Segment Comic Strips - Page 9

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131 Results for Market Segment

View 81 - 90 results for market segment comic strips. Discover the best "Market Segment" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #therapy session, #everyone is lying, #stock market, #congress, #boss, #therapy, #scientifically proven, #money, #psychology, #Politics

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Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #tight labor market, #complicated tasks, #harder jobs, #dumb employees

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Dilbert is pointing to a graphic of a person being squeezed in a vise. Dilbert says, "Due to a tight labor market and increasingly complicated tasks.." Dilbert continues, "Harder and harder jobs will be staffed with dumber and dumber employees until the logical limit:" As a table to zombie like employees stare, Dilbert says, "This meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2000's comic on:


Tags #clear mind, #thoughts, #forward basis, #market space, #done practicing

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As Dilbert knocks at his door, The Boss thinks, "I must clear my mind of all thoughts." The Boss says, "At the end of the day we'll be in a market space on a going forward basis." The Boss says, "Om... Om... Page..." Dilbert says, "I'll come back when you're done practicing being useless."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2000's comic on:


Tags #sitting in a box, #checking stocks, #cucbicle, #job, #stock market, #this is life, #computer, #money, #survival, #business, #technology

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As Dilbert sits at his computer he thinks to himself, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks." Dilbert continues thinking, "I must use all my willpower to resist checking every ten seconds." Dilbert again thinks, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dna, #feed her, #human genome, #human simulations, #invented, #mapped and decoded, #market application, #on computer watch, #punish her, #samples, #software, #software simulation, #engineering

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Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #market research data, #mouse, #footsteps

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Wally is sitting at his computer and the boss who is sitting behind him says: "Wally, don't do anything until we get the market research data." The boss walks away. Wally thinks: "No longer must I put my hand on the mouse when I hear footsteps. Yes!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #new software, #gently warm, #key board, #easier, #laptop lighter, #market driven, #create diversion

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The boss pionts to a projection of a steaming keyboard. The boss says, "OUr new software will gently warm your keyboard so the keys are easier to press." Dilber and Wally listen. The boss says, "We'll budnle it with our software that makes your laptop lighter." The boss says, "In a word, we have become "market driven"" Wally whispers, to Dilbert, "Creat a diversion. I'll run for help."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #bathrobe, #30% raise, #dont quit, #terry cloth rebel

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Dilbert wears a bathroom and carries a briefcase. Dilbert walks by the boss. The boss thinks, "A bathrobe! This can only mean he found out how much market power an engineer has." The boss says, "I'll give you a 30% raise if you don't quit!!" Dilbert says, "Um.. okay." A women with several piercings says, "Take me, you terry-cloth rebel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #microsoft headquarters, #misspelled word, #spell checking software, #market power, #new word industry

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Caption: "Microsoft Headquarters" A preppy man stands in front of a large desk. The person behind the desk (Bill Gates) can't be seen. Preppy man says, "We misspelled a word in our spellchecking software." Gates says, "You know what to do." Preppy man says, "Um.. use our market power to make the new word an industry standard?" Bill Gates says, "And....?" Preppy man says, "Kill myself as an example to others?" Gates says, "In our booth at "Comdex"."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogcart the consultant, #target market, #gullible moron, #commercials, #sincere actor

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Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert stands on the conference table. Dogbert holds a pointer. Dogbert says, "Our target market is the gullible moron segment." Dogbert points at a television. Dogbert says, "Our commercials will feature an actor who seems sincere." The actor on the TV says, "I care about the rain forest... and you." A couple sits on the couch and watches TV. The voice from the television says, "I like kittens... and you." The man says, "Wow.. we made it into his top two."