Meet Halfway Comic Strips - Page 9

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165 Results for Meet Halfway

View 81 - 90 results for meet halfway comic strips. Discover the best "Meet Halfway" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #sales target, #have bad credit, #bonuses, #accounts receivable, #getting bonuses

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Dilbert: "The only way to meet our sales target is by selling to customers who have bad credit." The Boss: "That's okay, we'll get our bonuses before anyone realizes that the accounts recievables are worhtless." The Boss: "The key to getting bonusses is acting surprised later." Dilbert: "I feel unclean."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #retail distribution, #walgetco, #unreasonable, #special packageing, #foot powder

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"Meet with our huge retail distributor, Walgetco, and find out what they want now." "Say yes, no matter how unreasonable they are, because we need them more than they need us." ". . .Special packaging, rfid tags, and grind your bones to make store brand foot powder." "Yes!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #online study class, #sexual harrasmnet, #don't have one, #happy actors

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Wally: "I'm about halfway finished with the online studay class on sexual harassment." The Boss: "Wally, we don't have an online study course on sexual harassment." Wally: "THat would explain why all the actors seemed so happy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #doctor dogbert show, #big woman, #little man, #tv show, #freak show, #man, #hot dog bun, #doll like husband, #interview, #tv camera

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Doctor Dogbert Show Dogbert: Today we'll meet a couple who have a common problem. Big woman: I make him sleep in a gigantic hot dog bun. Dogbert: Can I see it? Man: No... please big woman: And the problem is that he snores.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #buff bufferman, #rock climbing, #blizzards, #pair of eacles, #leap off, #gran legs, #raging river, #white water, #keyboard, #hunched over

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The Boss: "Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Buff Bufferman." "Tell Dilbert what you do for fun." Buff: "I like to go rock climbing during blizzards." The boss: "Escape." Buff: "At the top, I wait for a pair of eagles to fly by. Then I leap off and grab them by the legs." "The eagles slow my descent to the raging river below." "I try to land on a floating log and surf the white water all the way home." Dilbert: "I use a key-board." Buff: "Isn't that dangerous?" Dilbert: "Sometimes I type all hunched over." "Ow! Ow! It hurts to hear it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2003's comic on:


Tags #break into subgroups, #net meeting, #usual time, #loose canon, #label, #hackneyed phrases, #cut now type

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wally: "I recommend that we break into subgroups to create a process for choosing our next meeting time." alice: "Or we could just meet next week at our usual time." wally: "You're a loose canon." Alice: "Stop labeling me with hackneyed phrases!" Wally: "You're a 'cut now, measure later' type."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #manager of executive compensation, #plan to steal, #meeting, #back slapping, #pormises, #raises, #ponys, #vacations, #huge raise, #business

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Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss, #touched by new hire, #cry, #hired, #special skill, #identifying good people, #part instinct, #favorite color

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Man: "When I'm not helping team members, I like to feed the poor or read to blind people." "I don't care about money. All I want is a chance to help humanity reach its fullest potential." The Boss: "You're so wonderful. It's making me cry! You're hired." Man: "Excellent." The Boss: "Come meet the team." "I have a special skill for identifying good people." "It's part instinct, part experience." "And yes, maybe just a little ESP." "Watch this." "Alice, your favorite color is...mitten?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering

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The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #user requirements, #build system, #some actual work, #crazy talk

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Dilbert is meeting with a client. Dilbert says, "I'll design the system as soon as you give me the user requirements." The client responds, "Better yet, you could build the system, then I'll tell your boss that it doesn't meet my needs." Dilbert says, "I don't mean to frighten you, but you'll have to do some actual work." The client responds, "That's crazy talk."