Missing Number Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

156 Results for Missing Number

View 81 - 90 results for missing number comic strips. Discover the best "Missing Number" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #zero disabling injuries, #injury, #fill forms, #resignation forms, #cinjury report

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points at a board with the word 'Injuries' written on it, and the number zero below the word. The Boss says, "Our goal this year is zero disabling injuries." The Boss continues, "Last year, our goal was twenty-six disabling injuries." The Boss points at the board with a skeleton and the number twenty-six above it. The Boss says, "In retrospect, that was a mistake." The Boss continues, "We had to injure nine employees to meet the goal." The Boss hands out a piece of paper and says, "If you have an injury, fill out this form immediately." Wally and Dilbert look at the forms. Wally says, "These are resignation forms." The Boss holds up the paper and says, "If you cover the word 'resignation' with your thumb, it's an injury report." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "This place makes me sick." Dilbert says, "We'll miss you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #personal business, #lunch hour, #work through lunch, #take full hour, #internet, #business only, #limited zeros and ones, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert leans his head in the Boss's office and says, "I'm going to do some personal business during my lunch hour." Dilbert continues, "Normally I would work through lunch." Dilbert says, "But this will take a full hour." Dilbert turns to leave and says, "It would only take two minutes if I used the Internet." Dilbert turns back towards the Boss and wags his finger, saying, "But the internet is for business use only!" The Boss stares as Dilbert says, "Our company has a limited number of zeroes and ones." Dilbert holds out his arms and says, "When they're gone, they're gone. Furthermore..." Wally looks at Dilbert and asks, "You mocked him for a full hour?" Dilbert says, "Now it's time to eat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1998's comic on:


Tags #budget froecast, #missing, #Dilbert, #the boss, #sat on dcoument

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss peaks into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Where's the budget forecast I asked for?" Dilbert replies, "I put it on your chair this morning." The Boss walks away thinking, "I'd better look again." A view of his back shows that there is a piece of paper on his behind.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogcart the ceo, #board of directors, #double pay, #bleat like sheep, #meeting, #baaa, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert and executives sitting at a table. Dogbert says, "I make a motion that the board of directors double my pay." Dogbert continues, "All in favor, bleat like sheep." Dilbert and Wally stand outside the conference room and bear "BA-A-A" sounds eminating from the room. Wally says, "I think we're missing a check or a balance somewhere."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #measurable objective, #technical writer, #measure good writing, #number of words, #compare projects to wood, #dogmatic babbling manager, #cognitive surrender

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk. He says, "Tina, we need to set measurable objectives for you." Tina responds, "I'm a technical writer. How can you measure good writing?" The Boss says, "Everything is measurable is you try hard enough." Tina asks, "Is that your well-measured opinion?" She continues, "Or is it the dogmatic babbling of a manager in total cognitive surrender?" The Boss comes back with, "For example, we could measure the number of words you type." He adds, "We'll have to subtract words you delete. That way we won't motivate the wrong behavior." Tina is now at her desk, typing. She has written, "In this edition of Tina's hourly newsletter, I compare our projects to various types of wood."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #telecommute dogbert, #personalities, #zero a number, #debate, #try to develop personality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch drinking a cup of coffee and wearing a bathrobe. He says, "It takes a certain type of personality to telecommute, Dogbert." Dogbert's ears shoot up in the air and he says, "What?" Dogbert says, "Just because other people have personalities doesn't mean YOU should try to develop one." Dilbert frowns and says, "I HAVE a personality!" Dogbert says, "Let's not get into that 'Is zero a number' debate again."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #loans, #funding, #scam artist, #dogbert on tv, #people believe

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at home watching television. Dogbert's infomercial is on tv. Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "Would you like to make $1,000 per month for a whole year?" Dogbert says, "Send $13,000 for complete information about Dogbert no-load funds." An individual is furiously writing the information down as Dobert says, "I'll include my free pamphlet explaining how to lose weight by eating less food." The guy thinks, "Show the number."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #deputy of common sense, #motivate emplyees, #insulting gifts, #symbolism, #chess pieces, #same team, #pawns, #saving rooks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and stands on The Boss's desk and says, "You are accused of trying to motivate employees with insulting gifts." The Boss says, "You're missing the symbolism. I gave them chess pieces to show them we're all on the same team." Dogbert hass a hand on his gun and syas, "Specifically, you gave them pawns." The Boss says, "I'm saving the rooks for bonus day."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1997's comic on:


Tags #cluelessness, #indecisiveness, #micromange, #over analysis, #risks, #risk analysis

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We'll need a risk analysis on this project before I can approve it." He hands Dilbert some papers. Dilbert types on his computer: Risk 1 Indecisiveness, Risk 2 Overanalysis, Risk 3: Cluelessness, Rik 4: Micromanagement... The Boss says, "I don't understand these risks,." Dilbert says, "That's number thirty-six."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #plundered, #downsized, #equity, #massive stock options, #victory seems hollow, #meaningful contribition, #book deal, #trophy wife

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks by empty cubicles. He thinks, "I've downsized this company and plundered its equity by excercising my massive stock options." A chauffer holds the door as Dogbert gets into his limosine and thinks, "Yet my victory seems hollow. Something is missing." Dogbert sits on the couch with Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Maybe you're missing a sense of meaningful contribution to society." Dogbert relies, "Maybe... but I'm thinking book deal and trophy wife."