Most Evil Way Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Most Evil Way

View 81 - 90 results for most evil way comic strips. Discover the best "Most Evil Way" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #engineering, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #schedule

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Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.

Boss Leads All The Way

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Boss Leads All The Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #encouragement, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #trick, #deadline

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Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.

Intentionally Underbidding

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Intentionally Underbidding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #intentionally, #underbidding, #extra-shoddy, #work, #grossly, #overcharging, #upgrades, #criminal, #organization, #proven

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The Boss: We won the job by intentionally underbidding. But we can close the profit gap by doing extra-shoddy work and grossly overcharging for upgrades. Dilbert: Are we a criminal organization? The Boss: Not in a way that can easily be proven.

No Policy Against Lying

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No Policy Against Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #ted, #evil, #director, #human, #resources, #lying, #policy, #checked

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources. Ted: Alice called me a liar. Catbert: What were you doing when that happened? Ted: Lying. Catbert: Maybe we should talk about that. Ted: There's no company policy against lying I checked.

Social Media Ads To Influence

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Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone

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Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Introducing The New Hire

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Introducing The New Hire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #new hire, #names, #introduction

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The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?

Wally's Track Record As Mentor

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Wally's Track Record As Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #abuse, #Wally, #Dilbert, #coffee, #self-inflicted, #injuries, #interns

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Wally: I checked up on all of the interns I've mentored over the years. Most of them died from self-inflicted inures. Dilbert: And the rest? Wally: The rest were killed by other people.

Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers

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Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #government regulations, #marketing, #question authority

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CEO: Government regulations prevent us from marketing our products the way we want. What should we do? Dilbert: I'll consult my bundle of bumper stickers for some guidance. "Question authority." CEO: How did you get so smart?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #Dilbert, #Wally, #chatbot, #plumbing supply, #website, #sister

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Wally: I fell in love with a chatbot. We met on a plumbing supply website. I started innocently. I had a few questions about faucets. Next thing I knew, she was getting flirty. Now we chat for hours every night. Alice: That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard you creepy loser. Dilbert: Does your chatbot have a sister?

Comparing Things

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Comparing Things - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #giraffe, #solution

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The Boss: Your proposed solution has too many problems. Dilbert: You're not good at comparing things. The Boss: Pfft. I'm way better at it than a giraffe.