Need To Act Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Need To Act

View 81 - 90 results for need to act comic strips. Discover the best "Need To Act" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cancelled Presentation

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Cancelled Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cancelled, presentation, meeting, happy

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dilbert looking disheveled: i wooed all night to finish the presentation you need for this morning. boss: oh. that meeting got canceled. dilbert upset and yelling: when exactly did you hear of that? boss: it won't make you happier if i tell you.

Let Me Know If You Need Help

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Let Me Know If You Need Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, sarcasm, teamwork, help, work, awkward

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dilbert: if you need an help at all, just let me know. employee: i need a lot of help. be here at 8 am and plan to work late. dilbert: this is awkward, but i didn't mean a word of what i said.

Nodding Approval

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Nodding Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, nodding, positive, reinforcement, repeat, boring, relationships

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dilbert: you have now made the same point nine times in a row while i sit here nodding. what will it take to make you stop repeating yourself? co-worker: you'll need to stop nodding in agreement. i'm addicted to positive reinforcement.

Violating Rules

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Violating Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, rules, business, audit, employees, company

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boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.

Trial Postponed

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Trial Postponed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, trial, court, stupidity, judge, dare, lawyer, postponed

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dogbert: your trial at the court of stupidity has been postponed. the judge is suffering from a gavel-related injury. dilbert: did you attack him with a gavel? dogbert: didn't need to. the man can't say no to a dare.

Court Of Stupidity

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Court Of Stupidity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, legal, court, lawyer, stupidity, appeal, bailiff

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dilbert at table with dogbert: my boss is accusing me o not knowing what he was thinking. i need you to be my lawyer and handle my appeal to the court of stupidity. court of stupidity the court rules in favor of the bailiff.

Wally Stopped Trying

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Wally Stopped Trying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, useless, trying, incompetence, co-workers, pay, work

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wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.

Incompetent Employees

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Incompetent Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, bureaucratic, employees, incompetent, inefficiency, yin, yang

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catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.

Pre Meeting

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Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, pre-meeting, canceled, sarcasm, business, reality

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boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.

Employer Of The Year

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Employer Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, managers & supervisors, employer, year, million dollars, attitude, business

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boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.