New Job Title Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for new job title comic strips. Discover the best "New Job Title" comics from Dilbert.com.

Upgrade Schedule

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Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, vendor, network, upgrade, allocating, technology

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vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.

Who Is The Fool

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Who Is The Fool - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, install, server, upgrade, fool, lie, technology

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vendor: we can't finish the installation unless you buy our server upgrade. dilbert: that means you lied when you bid for the job, because you did not include a server upgrade. vendor: who's the fool now? dilbert: that would be me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, conversation, excellent, hardware, network, price, record, reliability, warranty

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dilbert: the new hardware you bought isn't compatible with our network. boss: i know, but the price was excellent, and they have a great reliability record. dilbert: i don't even know what conversation i'm in right now. boss: the extended warranty is second to none.

Knowing What Wally Does

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Knowing What Wally Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, job, projects, expectations, heuristics

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boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.

Poison Pill

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Poison Pill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-worker, cross-train, business, relationship, training, bad, fire, poison pill, planner

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dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.

Cross Training

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Cross Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, business, cross train, fire, job, dumb, manager

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dilbert: our pointy-haired boss told me to ask you to cross-train me on your job junctions. ted: that sounds exactly like he plans to fire me as soon as you can do my job. dilbert: in my defense, he assured me you would be too dumb to realize that.

Old Strategy

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Old Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, business, strategy, products, sell, fair, price, new

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boss in meeting: our new strategy is to make great products and sell them at a fair price. dilbert: what was our old strategy? boss: i'd rather not say.

Ship Without Manual

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Ship Without Manual  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, ship, user, interface, model, enemy

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dilbert: the product is ready to ship as soon as the new user guide is complete. boss: ship it with the old model's user guide. dilbert: the user interface is totally different. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of shipping.

Thwarting Alice's Career

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Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, mentor, deny, Promotion, compete, thwart, career, business

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alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

Saying You Are Dumb

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Saying You Are Dumb  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, job, change, technology, dumb, imply, product

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dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.