Paid By Hour Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

298 Results for Paid By Hour

View 81 - 90 results for paid by hour comic strips. Discover the best "Paid By Hour" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business lunch, #employee, #freedom from tyranny, #lunch, #talk work, #waddle, #waddle away

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That restaurant was great. Dilbert: I know. I plan to go there someday for lunch. Boss: We just ate lunch. Dilbert: That wasn't lunch. Boss: It wasn't? Dilbert: You talked about work the entire time. Lunch is not defined by food. It's defined by freedom from tyranny. My lunch hour will begin the minute you waddle away. Was this going well until I said "waddle?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #obliviousness, #mentor, #hundreds of hour, #eagerly absorb, #wisdom, #hugger

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news, Alice. I've decided to be your mentor. Alice: Hurk. Boss: We'll spend hundreds of hours together as you eagerly absorb my wisdom. Alice: HURK. Boss: And I've decided to become more of a hugger. Alice: Hurk hurk hurk hurk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #let slide, #power point, #presentation, #bored, #sleeping audience, #low expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #prices, #aggressive jerks, #underpaid nerdling, #give her a raise, #nice employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I read that aggressive jerks get paid more than nice employees. Alice: Step aside, underpaid nerdling! Boss: Remind me to give her a raise, and I don't know why.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctors, #employees, #medicines, #nice guys, #paid less, #aggressive jerks, #offer raise, #testosterone injections, #illegal, #dangerous, #unethical, #tiny income, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #job interview, #work long hours, #14 hour days, #bad descions, #bad decision maker, #good communicator

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #class, #more efficient, #government contract, #stuffed deer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This class will make me more efficient. Boss: I don't want you to be more efficient. You're working on a government contract and billing by the hour. Now go bill them for the time you stood here and stared at me like a stuffed deer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #office equipment, #prototype, #traffic, #traffic load test, #ask lab, #didn't ask lab

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you ask the lab if they have a way to test traffic loads on our prototype? Dilbert: I met with them for an hour and explained that we need traffic load tests. Boss: But you didn't actually ask if they could do the tests? Dilbert: Well... no... but... it's their job to do the tests. And they would have mentioned it if they didn't have a way to do it. Boss: But you didn't ask. Dilbert: That was the context of the meeting. If they couldn't do that sort of test they would have mentioned it sometime during our hour together. Boss: Maybe you should ask. Dilbert: Gaa!! Okay! I'll ask! Are you freakin' kidding me?!! Man: I wondered why you didn't ask.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boats, #business ethics, #new boat, #engineers, #skills, #boss's boat, #picture, #nautical interests

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.