Personal Hygiene Comic Strips - Page 9

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162 Results for Personal Hygiene

View 81 - 90 results for personal hygiene comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Hygiene" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no written objectives, #free to help, #personal philosophy

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wally: I'm cruising into my fifth month with no written objectives. some philosophers would say that having no objectives means Im free to help any team that asks. Wally: My personal philosophy is more along the lines of hiding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails

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"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #picture n stapler, #personal items, #desktops, #exception, #eat paper, #parasite

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"Do you mind if I put your picture on my stapler?" "Well, I don't allow personal items on desktops, but I'll make an exception." "Eat paper you ignorant parasite! Ha ha ha!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #party, #phone number, #information, #email, #voicemail, #home phone, #offcie, #work email, #personal website, #too much info, #skeleton, #relationships

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"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #floating, #happy, #relaxed, #vacation, #floating to furious, #broken promise

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Alice: "My vacation was so relaxing that I'm still floating." Man: "Hey, Alice, you know how I promised to cover all of your meetings for two weeks? I forgot until right now." Alice: "From floating to furious in 27 seconds. It's a personal best."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #casino for morons, #concept, #court room, #Dogbert, #gaming commission, #ratbert, #room full dolts, #jury, #legal

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Headline: Gaming Commission. Dogbert and Ratbert are sitting at a table. Dogbert says into a microphone, "My concept is a casino exclusively for morons." Dogbert continues, "Imagine a room full of oblivious dolts, and I'm taking advantage of them for personal gain." A woman on the commission asks, "When would that concept begin?" Dogbert replies, "About a minute ago."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body double, #despots, #most successful, #double, #take hit, #personal dress code, #dress intern

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Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "You need a body double. They're popular with your most successful despots." Dogbert continues, "If someone tries to ambush you into making a decision, the double will take the hit." The Boss approaches Asok with a pointy-haired hat in his hands and says, "I want you to think of this as your own personal dress code."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #saved money, #hired guy, #unlucky, #many problems, #ex boyfreind, #sobers up

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The Boss introduces a new employee to Dilbert, "We saved money by hiring a guy who's had many personal problems." The Boss continues, "But we're sure he was just unlucky. No one would invite that many problems into his life." The new employee's cell phone rings. The new employee says into his cell phone, "Yes, of course your ex-boyfriend can stay with us until the choppers leave and he sobers up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motor noises, #with lips, #scorpion king, #action figure, #personal message with nose, #trifecta, #carol

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Carol is sitting in her cubicle with a regular telephone in one hand and a cell phone in the other. She says into the regular phone, "So I told him to stop making noises with his lips." Carol turns and yells into the cell phone, "Get the Scorpion King action figure away from your sister's barbie!!!" Wally and Dilbert are looking over a cubicle wall. Wally says, "Now she's also typing a personal message with her nose!" Dilbert replies, "It's a trifecta!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert tech support., #personal computer, #defective, #attractive package

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Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert says into his telephone headset, "It works fine on my machine." On the other end of the line, the customer says, "Yes, but this call is about MY PC. May we talk about MY problem now?" Dogbert replies, "Okay, your PC is defective and you're selfish. That's an attractive package you've got going there."