Personal Website Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

181 Results for Personal Website

View 81 - 90 results for personal website comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Website" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Seminar on Work-Life Balance "This is Allen. He didn't balance his work and personal lives." "Allen did nothing but work, work, work. And now look at him." "I'm the one who tried to balance everything. That's Allen. He's a @#!$% CEO now!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2006's comic on:


Tags #employee appreciation day

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We're going to have an employee appreciation day on the 8th! "That's a Sunday." Alice: That's the best day for a potluck lunch. The Boss: You'll have all day Saturday to make a dish to share!" "I'll need a volunteer to organize everything. Let's see...Which one of you is the woman?" "Bring jackets. It's supposed to be about 45 degrees in the park that day." "I won't be able to attend because I do personal stuff on weekends." "Take pictures!" I hope no one else brought a pine cone appetizer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #patent application, #3 emails, #rude, #insulting, #condescending, #back plane, #gizmo

View Transcript

Transcript

"Remember to include my name on the patent application." "Why? You didn't help." "That's ridiculous! I've been helping you design that thing for months!" "I saved all three of your e-mails. Allow me to read them." "'Dude, is something wrong with your brain?'" "Later: 'Hey, Dilweed, maybe you should replace the backplane with a gizmo.'" "Then my personal favorite: 'Dilbag, I'm glad you took my advice to leave the backplane alone.'" "That's my way of helping." "It's great. You should patent it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #misleading, #financial problems, #shady innocent people, #personal gain

View Transcript

Transcript

Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #wites to website, #eating toast, #file open, #stupidest question

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert writes a F.A.Q. for the company web site "Question 8: Why won't my file open when I'm eating toast?" "Answer 8: That is the stupidest question ever! Do not have children!" "I sure hope someone asks that question."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #negative commentray, #blog, #fire, #freedom of speech, #our founding fathers, #spitting on graves, #not good work, #final paycheck

View Transcript

Transcript

"Ted, you've been saying negative things about the company in your personal blog. We have to fire you." "I have freedom of speech. It's my constitutional right to say whatever I want." "If you fire me for my opinions, you'll be spitting on the graves of our founding fathers." "I'll get the best lawyer that money can't buy, and fight you all the way to the Supreme Court!" "The only way you can legally fire me is if my work isn't good." "Ooh. I probably said too much here." "Your work isn't good. Here's your final paycheck." "Stupid founding fathers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I made a fortune by being an incompetent CEO. Everyone called me crazy when I put my entire personal wealth into pigs and garbage dumps. "You invested all of your money in pigs and dumps?" "Invested? Now that would have been a good idea too."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #journal, #personal growth, #write in journal, #felt a little

View Transcript

Transcript

Keep a journal of everything you do. That way you'll know where you need help. "Now I am writing in my journal. I am still writing in my journal. Now I am writing about writing in my journal." "Ooh. I think I felt a little personal growth there."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #good advice, #balance, #personal life, #zen approach, #no freinds, #no work, #perfect balance, #zen, #faster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."