Pig Without Sun Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for pig without sun comic strips. Discover the best "Pig Without Sun" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #problem, #scenario, #ridiculous, #stupidity

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Dilbert says, "Our new data center is complete." Dilbert says, "The only wrinkle is that the power company won't give us the kilowatts we need." The boss says, "What are our options?" Dilbert says, "Well, we can run the servers without air conditioning." Dilbert says, "Until they melt into a toxic blob." Dilbert says, "Then we can turn the building into a museum that celebrates poor planning." Dilbert says, "Or we could all quit our jobs and eat bugs to survive." The boss says, "Let's go with the toxic blob, but we need to call it something else." Man says, "Convergence!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #realization, #angry, #useless, #meaningless, #breakdown, #screaming, #yelling, #ignoring

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The boss says, "Asok, I want to scrub the CPS database." Asok says, "No one uses that data." Asok the intern says, "But you are incapable of admitting error. So now I must dedicate my time to a thoroughly useless task." The boss thinks, "This job got easier when I stopped listening." Asok says, "It's like death, but without the glamour!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #story, #topping, #bragging, #ridiculous, #lying, #annoyed

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Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #newspaper, #economy, #hardship, #sacrifice, #Entertainment

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Elbonian says, "The big countries are having economic problems. Experts say it will soon affect Elbonia." Elbonian says, "We'll need to cut back on some of our luxury expenses." Elbonia says, "You can stop practicing your fetching," Pig says, "Should I ask why?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monster, #rebate, #trap, #frustration, #anger, #yelling

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Dilbert says, "I bought a new phone. It was only $50 after rebate." Dogbert says, "Uh-Oh." Dilbert says, "Let's see what the terms of the rebate?" Foom! Monster says, "I am rebaterus. You must pass five tests before your rebate will be authorized." Monster says, "You must wait 30 days without losing or accidentally discardin the rebate forms, the receipt, and the box." Monster says, "You must figure out which of the several unlabeled codes on the box is the real rebate code." Monster says, "You must write that code into a space desighned for a code half as long." Monster says, "Some numbers look like lettters." Dilbert says, "Just keep my money!!!" Monster says, "Dude, we spent it before you left the store."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #coworker, #crazy, #shouting, #business

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Man says, "I'm one of those people who can't explain things without a whiteboard, but I'll try." Man says, the?uh?fug?fuh?wah?um?thingamajig?fuh?fuh?eh?" Dilbert says, "Worst case I've seen." Man says, "Yee?woo?ee-yi-ee-yi-moo?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yelling, #budget, #meeting, #begging, #confused, #business

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The boss says, "Until the economy improves, we are instituting a mandatory week off every quarter." The boss says, "At least you'll have more time with your families." Ted says, Nooo!!! Not my family!!!" The boss says, "Problems at home?" Ted says, "May I please work without pay?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bacon and eggs, #breakfast, #breakfast foods, #chicken, #dead pig, #home early, #pig, #meeting, #animals, #business

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The boss: As I gazed at my bacon and egg this morning, I realized... The chicken contributed, but the pig was commutted. I am so clever. Wally: If I promise to work like a dead big, can i go home early?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apologize for efficiency, #apology, #how far, #meeting, #reasonable assumptions, #timeline for deployment, #vacation, #without knowledge of insight, #business

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The boss: Let's figure out a timeline for development. Dilbert: Ted is the only one who knows anything about that. And he's on vacation. The boss: Let's see how far we can get without Ted. Alice: You mean without knowledge or insight? The boss: We can make reasonable assumptions. Dilbert: Or we could wait for Ted to come back tomorrow and ask him.. The boss: I called this meeting and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted! Dilbert: I apologize for my efficiency. The boss: Apology accepted.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #government buy out, #bloated carcass, #blot out sun, #cookies, #lemonade

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The CEO says, "Our plan is to beg for a government bailout." The CEO says, "It's good for everyone because otherwise our bloated carcass will blot out the sun." The CEO says, "We have cookies and lemonade in the back."