Plan For Ceo Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Plan For Ceo

View 81 - 90 results for plan for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Plan For Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Drooling Incompetents

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Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, competent, incompetent

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wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.

Jargon Poisoning

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Jargon Poisoning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, huddle, jargon, calendar

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ted: let's plan a huddle to ideate around that opportunity. dilbert visually distressed and yelling: gaaa!!! i have jargon poisoning! ted: i'll send you a calendar invite. dilbert has fell over and feet are in air.

Encouraging Smoking

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Encouraging Smoking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, office, office workers, smoking, turnover, breaks

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dibert, the boss and ask at conference table. the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking. the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day. dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks. the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.

Prove A Negative

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Prove A Negative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, accusations, negative

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ceo to dilbert: is this everything i need to know? dilbert: yes. ceo: how can you be sure there isn't something out there we don't know about? dlbert: are you asking me to prove a negative? ceo: it's more of an accusation than a question.

Bad Denials

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Bad Denials - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, spying, elbonia

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ceo: have you confirmed that the cyber attacks are coming from elbonia? dilbert: no. ceo: i guess that means you are on their side. dilbert: what? catbert: what proof do you have that dilbert is a spy? ceo: he didn't deny it the way I think he should have.

Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting

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Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, office, office workers, elbonian, cyber threat

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the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bugs, business, fire, office, office workers, quit, system

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ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.

Engineers Don't Lie

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Engineers Don't Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, office, office workers, ceo

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the boss: i saw dilbert talking to the ceo. i think he's trying to undermine me. catbert: engineers don't lie. the boss: that's what worries me.

Chatting With The Ceo

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Chatting With The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, ceo

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the boss: i saw you chatting with our eco. what was that all about? dilbert: we were talking about what a great job you do. dilbert: you believe that, right? the boss: seems plausible.

Wally Plans His Retirement

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Wally Plans His Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, retirement, profit

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wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.