Racing Toward Oblivion Comic Strips - Page 9

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105 Results for Racing Toward Oblivion

View 81 - 90 results for racing toward oblivion comic strips. Discover the best "Racing Toward Oblivion" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #duck, #sled, #santa, #fell, #dropped, #head, #alive, #jolly, #elf, #holiday, #season, #myself, #gifts, #stole, #buried, #backyard, #wars, #venison, #taste

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The caption says, "'Twas the night before Christmas . . . " Santa Claus and his reindeer fly over the rooftops. The caption says, "When a duck hit the sled . . ." A duck crashes into Santa. The story continues, "Santa fell out . . ." Santa dives toward the ground. The caption continues, "And dropped on his head . . ." Santa crashes through the roof of a house. The caption continues, "He was barely alive, this jolly old elf . . ." Dogbert stands next to the fireplace. Santa lies on the floor near the Christmas tree. The caption continues, "'Twas the holiday season, so I thought of myself . . ." Dogbert says, "Hey! I don't see any gifts here!" The caption continues, "So I stole his hat and buried him in the back yard. The end." Dogbert walks through the back yard wearing Santa's hat and holding a shovel. Dogbert sits in his chair holding a book. He says, "Um . . . This is interesting, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "The sequel is titled 'Elf Wars: The Taste of Venison.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #dance, #Dilbert, #eye contact, #spots, #wall, #awkwardly, #hate, #smile

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Dilbert sees someone walking down the hallway toward him. Dilbert thinks, "Now for the 'Dance of the Eye Contact.'" Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "I pretend to look at spots on the wall. If our eyes meet too soon we'll have to awkwardly smile for ten seconds." Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "Now!" The man thinks, "I hate the first smile of the day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #easier, #elbonia, #Dogbert, #convince, #despotic, #ruler, #airport, #skeet-shooting, #range

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Dilbert sits in a giant slingshot holding his suitcase. Dilbert says, "I wish there were an easier way to fly in Elbonia." Dilbert flies through the air over Elbonia. Dilbert thinks, "I've got to find Dogbert and convince him to stop being the despotic ruler of Elbonia." Dogbert, who is wearing a miter, sits on the back of an Elbonian and points a rifle toward the sky. The Elbonian says, "But, sire, this is the airport, not the skeet-shooting range." Dogbert yells, "Pull!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #one, #ticket, #slignshot, #flight, #elbonia, #elbonian's, #capital, #class, #coach, #first, #intentionally, #fling, #hard

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Dilbert approaches the "Air Elbonia" counter and says to the clerk, "Give me one ticket for the slingshot flight to Elbonia's capital." The airline ticket agent asks, "Do you want first class or coach?" Dilbert asks, "What's the difference?" The clerk replies, "With first class we don't intentionally fling you toward something hard."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #conquer, #elbonia, #ten, #minutes, #thing, #Dogbert, #despotic, #congenial, #pbs, #last, #night, #missile, #boring, #smart

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Dogbert flies through the sky in a hover-saucer. Dogbert thinks, "I should be able to conquer Elbonia in about ten minutes with this thing." Dogbert thinks, "I'll be 'King Dogbert of Elbonia,' despotic yet congenial. Uh-oh." An American missle flies toward the saucer. The missile asks, "Did you watch PBS last night?" Dogbert says, "Aaagh!!! It's a smart missile! It's boring in on me!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #beaver, #troop, #Dogbert, #leader, #philsininski, #mailman, #ambition, #Kids, #merit, #badges, #obedient, #servants, #greatness

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Dogbert approaches three boys in scout uniforms. He says, "Attention, beaver troup! I am Dogbert, your new leader." Dogbert continues, "Mrs. Philbininski, your previous troop leader, ran off with the mailman." Dogbert picks up a chair and says, "I volunteered to lead the troop . . ." Dogbert stands on the chair and continues, ". . . So I could mold your putty-like brains into tools to serve my personal amibition for world conquest." Dogbert continues, "You will be my army of obedient servants." Dogbert shouts, "We will march together toward greatness!!!" One of the scouts says, "There's no merit badge for world conquest. We only work for merit badges." Dogbert walks on the sidewalk thinking, "Mrs. Philbininski ruined those kids."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #direction, #stupid, #shall, #dance, #better

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Dilbert and Wally walk toward each other in the hallway. Dilbert thinks, "Collision course . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I hate this . . . We'll both veer in the same direction, then the other. He'll say something studpid, like 'Shall we dance?'" Dilbert ducks and Wally trips over him. Dilbert thinks, "This method isn't much better."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #doctor, #treament, #unconventional, #demon, #gaath, #tried, #before

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Dilbert sits on an examining table. A man with a stethoscope says, "I'd like to try a treatment which may seem unconventional." The man waves his arms and shouts, "Oh hear me, Omdahr, Demon of Gaath, heal this man's arm!!" Dilbert asks, "Has that ever worked?" The man replies, "Beats me. I've never tried it before." A demon's hand reaches toward the man's head.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1991's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #employee meeting, #wilson, #recognition, #twenty-hour, #overworked, #success

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The Boss gestures toward an employee and says to Dilbert and another man, "I'd like to recognize Wilson for working twenty-hour days and making the project a success." The man says, "Thanks, but I'm not Wilson. He quit months ago." The Boss says, "Oh . . ." The Boss walks away thinking, "I've got to sop calling this the employee recognition program."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #glum, #plastic, #surgeon, #face, #dog

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Dogbert says to a man walking toward him on the sidewalk, "Hey, mister, why are you so glum?" The man replies, "I've lost face at my job . . ." Dogbert says, "You'll get over it." The man says, "You don't understand . . . I'm a plastic surgeon . . . I actually lost somebody's face." Dogbert says, "Bummer."