Ruin Every Minute Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

618 Results for Ruin Every Minute

View 81 - 90 results for ruin every minute comic strips. Discover the best "Ruin Every Minute" comics from Dilbert.com.

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #trolling, #troll, #social media, #argument, #logic, #reason, #arguing, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Boss Gets A Troll

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets A Troll  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #troll, #social media, #trolling, #insult, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This idiot keeps insulting me on social media! Every time I block him, he returns with a new account. It's like he never has anything better to do. Dilbert: Do you have a new hobby? Wally: It's more like a passion.

Boss Is The Common Variable

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is The Common Variable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managing, #managers, #failure, #common denominator, #Advice, #performance, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Every one of my employees is underperforming. What should I do? Catbert: You should fire yourself because you're the only common variable. Boss: I hadn't considered that. Catbert: That's how I know I'm right.

Tina Writes Product Warnings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Writes Product Warnings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #user guide, #caution, #directions, #safety

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, I need you to write the product warning section for the user guide. Make sure you cover every possible danger. Tina: "Never use this product while standing below a poorly maintained helicopter full of porcupines."

Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #memory, #obliviousness, #managers, #executives, #hubris

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally says he has a secret project he can't tell me about. Did you give him that project? CEO: I don't remember every little thing I've ever done. Boss: My best strategy here is to think about other things.

Wally Waits For Information

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Waits For Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #procrastination, #laziness, #work ethic, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Should I start working on my project now or wait until I have more information. Boss: When you put it that way, I guess you should wait. Dilbert: Isn't there always "more" information to be had? Wally: Don't ruin this for me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Two Choices For Work Space

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Choices For Work Space - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #distraction, #work from home

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #failure, #power, #interns, #roadblock

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll need to get buy-in from the other departments. Asok: You have given me an impossible task. I am only an intern. No one will agree to anything I ask because I have no power to hurt them. Most department heads won't even schedule a meeting with me. And if they do, they will end up canceling it at the last minute and rescheduling. There is literally no way for me to succeed at this task. Boss: I also need you to ask them to fund your project out of their budgets.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #insult, #idiot, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you know, every project in this company has one idiot on the team. Man: That can't be true. Boss: It is true. I assign one idiot per team to keep them from bunching together. Man: My project team doesn't have any idiots. Dilbert: There's a good explanation for why you think that. Man: I Don't see what that would be. If I had an idiot on my team I would know it. Unless...